Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
So i've been on here and posted a few times trying to sort out my thoughts/feelings/changes that needed to be made. I finally can say that i'm in a really good place, haven't had a drop of alcohol in a couple of weeks and feel better than i've felt in a long time...a matter of years, I think. Took me a while to get here, longer than I would like to admit-i've wanted to quit drinking for a while now, but really struggled with that when alcohol or the thought of alcohol was around. I was so used to drinking my anxiety away and self medicating, so for a while the thought of quitting actually caused more anxiety when I was faced head on with turning it down. I finally figured out through this ongoing struggle in my mind that "wanting to want to stop drinking" is different than actually "wanting to stop drinking." I still believe that wanting to want to stop is a good start to knowing you need change, and is said with the best of intentions. Anyway, it finally clicked a few weeks ago that I really, truly wanted to stop, even when it was harder to turn it away than to give in and drink my anxiety about quitting away. I want to learn to live life and enjoy it, to see things clear and sharp, to be able to make memories that are about anything other than drinking.
I do have to mention that other than a couple of posts in the past, I have avoided posting on this thread because I had felt judged by people in a couple of comments and messages (i'm sure it was coming from a good place, but it just made me feel badly for trying to do better) for not being interested in AA (I have been to meetings before and they made me feel more uncomfortable than anything), and for taking a break from counselling (because it happened to be triggering my OCD at the time which makes quitting even harder) so please do not pass judgement on me for this post, because I am working things out in the best way I can for myself. Also, thank you to the people who offered support on the posts where I was trying to sort things out.
It's been an interesting bit of time going from drinking basically every single night to completely cutting it out-from a couple of family bbq's where people make gestures asking if i'm pregnant because I turned down a drink (very uncomfortable), to turning down plans with people who I know I wouldn't like spending an evening with without a drink (or lets be real, a lot of drinks), and to going to my first concert as an adult without drinking (so much better actually enjoying the music), and dealing with emotional family situations without the mind numbing escape from alcohol-but i've already learned a lot, and although it has been tough at times, it has also been really empowering knowing that I'm dealing with uncomfortable situations without a crutch by my own choice.
I have a doctors appointment scheduled for this week to get everything checked out physically (I did keep my eyes open for withdrawl symptoms after consulting with my other doctor and was lucky enough to not experience any), and i'm hoping that I've changed my behavior before there are medical issues related (besides mild macrocytosis that my doctor diagnosed 6 months ago but wasn't concerned with-it will be nice when this resolves as well), so I can start fresh with being healthier as well. I've had anxiety about this appointment for a while, I was so ashamed to go to this appointment with my drinking history since at my last appointment I had mentioned that I wanted to stop drinking but hadn't quit (enter genuine "wanted to want to stop drinking" mindset), so even though I still have anxiety about this appointment i'm happy that I can go in there and say that I did finally cut out alcohol.
I do have a couple of questions for people who have quit drinking-I know that the feeling of "boredom" seems to be a common thing when people stop drinking, and I also know that this "boredom" can be looked at positively as being serenety or peace. I absolutely see that, and have been enjoying some of my downtime reading books. This has lead me to realize, however, that I no longer know what I like to do for fun. I feel like I have no hobbies, and i'm not quite sure how to go about finding new hobbies as an adult.
I've also had no energy since quitting drinking-I've been sleeping better and more solidly than I have in years, but by the time I am done my work day, I get home and just flop on the couch feeling absolutely exhausted. I did read somewhere that this is normal while your body re-acclimates, and can take up to a month to feel energy, but has anyone else had personal experience with this? I feel like once I have some energy, it will be easier to get up and out in the world to try new things and re-build myself and my life. It's a really exciting thought to get to try new things and see who I really am as a person, i'm just hoping that I get the energy to do that sooner rather than later.
Thank you to anyone who reads this for letting me air out all of my thoughts and feelings. It's going to be a challenging road and I know i'm only at the begining, but I finally feel truly up to it and am really excited to see what the road forward brings. Any advice moving forward is greatly appreciated as i'm sure there will be some moments that are tougher than others.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
On boredom. I get that too. Then again, much of my time drinking was when I was bored. What I've done is read a lot more especially books on recovery. I also enjoy watching video content online. For example, Kevin OHara is someone I enjoy learning from. So, I'm becoming more comfortable with being bored at times and also go to AA meetings
In terms of hobbies. My main hobby used to be drinking wine. I haven't fully turned the corner but look to Groups such as meetup.com to get out of the easy chair. It's a good time of year with the weather getting warmer.
Regarding fatigue. Alcohol zaps sleep and vitamin B levels. I've revisited this with blood work and the like. I'm also using my "sound mind". For example, if you're tired, what's the first remedy? Good sleep! I believe I may have a sleep disorder and am looking to revisit apnea. I'm still tired and used to chalk it up to drinking. Now, without the booze, I can reassess
1is2many
On exhaustion, it gets so much better. the first three or four months I was dead ass tired. I don't know if that's struggling not to drink, or the mental energy of being sober. Either way, I was exhausted. Now I have a ton of energy, and feel physically fantastic. Better than in my 20's or 30's...but early sobriety -- not so much. So hang in there. its amazing and wonderful and a hell of a ride.
Well done on two weeks sober. You can go on to build on that foundation and work on whatever life changes that you want to make.
For me, anxiety and boredom are sort of related or at least, they may be traced back to a common cause. I was always too concerned about what other people would think about me or was forever trying to please someone or other. Although I did not realise it at the time, much of my focus was on ‘me’. When I was forced to make changes and think less about myself, a whole new world opened up. Today, I accept that I can never please everyone and indeed, some people will not be pleased no matter what you do. I, therefore, do what I think is best and give other people the right to agree or disagree. The truth of the matter is that most people are so wrapped up in their own problems to care much about what I do or say anyway. Our moment in the spotlight is very short and then someone else comes under the light.
Living life as you see fit brings a great sense of freedom. I think that my former fascination with what other people would think came from a misdirected sense of pride. Not being laboured with that pride gives me the freedom to try and do things that I would have been too embarrassed to do before. I left my job five years ago and am no longer in paid employment. However, I have never been so busy. You don’t have to travel too far around your neighbourhood to find interesting things to do and new people to meet.
When I was still working, I would come home in the evening, have something to eat, watch rubbish on TV and fall asleep in the chair. It was not tiredness that was the problem but a lack of motivation and being afraid of taking a chance on trying something new.
Here is one of the very many websites that will give you some great hobby ideas:
www.notsoboringlife.com/list-of-hobbies/
As far as being worried about judgement from others? There is a really good little booklet called "Acceptance, The Way To Serenity and Peace of Mind" by Vincent Collins, which is put out by AA, that addresses that, in fact, I was lucky enough to win it in a raffle at an AA meeting one night and it happened to be exactly what I needed to read at the time, (funny how that works) It's only 17 pages but every line is laid in like a brick. Every word resonated with me. I highly recommend.
For hobbies, I enjoy woodworking. I turned my shed into a shop, moved in a hand me down table saw and jointer from my dad, bought a cheap miter saw and a planer, and I sell my creations on ebay and amazon which supplements my SSI. It's something I have enjoyed since I was a kid. I also enjoy playing guitar, learning new songs (going to make some you tube videos some day) and I enjoy running although I don't run nearly as much as I use to for age related reasons but I try to get outside and do some walking during the days when I don't feel like running.
Sinking my passion into one of my hobbies has worked wonders for me and staying busy has been a huge part of my recovery and the time just keeps flying by. I highly recommend.
Good luck in your recovery and may you find peace and happiness along the way!
God Bless
So far, the reading has been a great hobby for the time being since i'm so sleepy with the changes, but it's great hearing some of the hobbies others have picked up on after quitting drinking. I think that at some point i'm going to have to try my hand at cooking (love those "Tasty" videos floating around on social media), and getting back into doing DIY crafts, maybe for decorations around the house. Used to love doing crafts to pass the time. I had previously (in an attempt to be health conscientious while drinking) started taking vitamins and milk thistle regularly. Now that the drinking is out, I find myself eating better already, and looking forward to getting some physical activity in soon (once I feel some extra energy, of course). I doubt i'll ever be a crazy athletic person (I've always been the clumsy one who hates exercising), but maybe I will end up with some health conscious hobbies in the future also since now I feel more motivated to take care of myself.
I have been trying to take the positive from the exhausted feeling-I always looked at myself as being a "bad sleeper," would wake up many times during the night and not be able to fall back asleep. This is the first time in years that I have slept consistently through the night. I am looking forward being back on track energy wise, but until then, I will be giving myself a break with not being so active and trying to take advantage of sleeping well.
Even though I have only been sober a short time at this point, this has already been an amazing new start for me. I'm so grateful that I finally hit the point where I know that this is genuinely what I want for myself withoubt the anxiety ridden doubts that I had before. For the first time in a long time, i'm excited to see what comes next each day. I'm actually excited about figuring out the rest of it as it comes :)
Wow, congratulations on your new journey of sobriety. That is very exciting. I have made major changes in my life and know what it feels like to learn more about yourself and what makes you happy and whole.
I wish you all the best and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I look forward to hearing more about your new journey.