You are pretty hard on yourself. Everyone has a purpose, but sometimes we get lost along the way. I know from experience, if you are down and out with depression, alcohol only multiplies the misery. Have you talked to your dr. Or anyone about your depression? Alot of alcoholics find out they need anti-depressant medication. I'M one of those people. Put the plug in the jug and start working on yourself. I hope you make it back to the wagon! Best regards! Sly

Pain and lonliness and depression, can be treated. Do you have any family that care about you?

It doesn't sound like you are asking us for advice so I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers,

God Bless

I am 43 years old. Been on antidepressants for 20 years. I have driven everyone away that might have cared for me because I don't want to share my pain. I hate myself. I have always been depressed and don't know another way. I think my brain is fried and I'm done for. So burnt out I life. I don't think there is any way out for me. I just don't have the energy

Anyways, traumatic childhood led to drugs, alcohol had got married had a child quit drugs alcohol. Started drinking when child was in school. Been downhill ever since. I don't feel. I am numb and emotionless. I don't think I can ever get a life back. I really haven't ever had one.

I have to say though I have always been there for my daughter and have tried to keep my pain out of her life, but I am having not much control of my life. My daughter is an exceptional young lady and we have a good relationship.

Hello chelepet,

No matter how bad things may look, please know that there is hope. There are so many stories about people who were where you are now and who have turned their lives around completely. If those people can do it, so can you.

I cannot tell you what to do and it may indeed be the case that you will need to approach the problem from several sides. Depression and childhood issues are things that require professional help but they can be worked through. You can also play a big part in helping yourself but you need a guiding hand to show you the way. While Alcoholics Anonymous may not be to everyones liking, it does offer a great support mechanism that would help you on your journey. AA also offers a programme of recovery that is designed to deal with living issues. It would help you to deal with the past (in conjunction with the professionals) and would allow you to improve your self-confidence and self-worth.

You have described yourself in very negative terms but I am willing to bet that you are warm, loving and have so much to offer. You are not a bad person trying to get good but a sick person trying to get well. Dry up the tears and take some positive action today. Maybe an AA meeting would be a good starting point.

I used alcohol to cope with the bad and the good. It worked for a long time then it stopped working. I had to get help because I was just not able to get out of the pit by myself. It is possible.
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