Hi ScarletAngel,

I'm sure I've done all three of the things you described.

I'm fairly new as a member but have followed this group for 3 1/2 years. In that time, I learned a lot from not only the successfully sober but from the whiners, story tellers etc.

A couple of members here helped inspired me to finally make that jump to sobriety. One has years of sobriety, the other tends to post provocative statements that get people ticked off.

In one I saw myself, in the other I saw somone who I wanted to be.

This forum is just a small part of the "solution" for me. It has been a valuable resource and I learned a lot from it before I quit drinking.

It may feel like the generous advice here goes off into space but it does not. I lurked for a long time and am grateful for the posts here. Good, bad, etc. There are probably a lot like me out there that are soaking up the knowledge here and will use it to make a decision that will positively change their life.

In other words, please hang around :)

Scarlet,

The real problem here is that we can't use body language to dramatize what he say. Y'know, like saying, "Thanks for sharing..." and then waving imaginary flies from around your face, or "Keep coming back" and then you and the gal next to you dissolve into a giggle fit.

Personally, I like the whine & geez crowd. They keep it green for me and help me stay sober in ways they'll probably never figure out. And I never contradict anyone with 60 days or less. They still believe their opinions will save them, bless their little hearts.

Closetgirl, it's the newbies that keep this place alive!! But without the oldtimers, it's like the blind leading the blind. Need a mixture new, middle and old in my opinion.

wkw,

Hey, watch it with that "o" word, dearie. We decrepit geezers who've been dry so long we're fire hazards are still sensitive types, don'tcha know.

The ones I love to listen to here Closet aren't defined by how long sober they've been. I've seen some who categorise themselves as old timers who are just not nice at all. A couple of women I look up to the most here have one or two years and a couple others who inspire me and are longer sober are not members of AA at all. Some are, some are not, it's a mixed bag.

I'm also inspired by those who keep chugging along and don't give up, and those who reach out for the first time. That takes courage to do that and they don't even know they've drawn on that courage to do so.

As for the whining, I'm glad internet wasn't available to me when I got sober. Was one sick puppy and hated everyone and everything and would tell them so. DS has been a good tolerance training ground for me.

Scarlet, it takes all our participation to keep this support group going. As wkw mentioned, a good cross section of us. I'd encourage more positive posts. If you think your not going to post because everyones ignoring the good threads, remember there's people on the outside looking in.

Even if I don't get a reply, or someone posts a negative comment just to spite, I still have hope someone looking in may get something from what I share. If we keep the focus on support we've gotta be heading in the right direction. I care.

I do remember the early days....though it has been 10 years today, wow...yes May 13th 2001 when I began this journey and that day will always be etched in my mind. This date is even more important to me than my soberity date of 07/16/2002.

I was at a point that I couldn't live with alcohol or without it. I was right in the middle and that space is call "f____d"

Was I ready for the "solution"? Perhaps not. Did I want it?...yes. Did I need it?...absolutely. So what was the problem? There was just too much of me involved.....It took time to uncover that one!

I was so busy rehashing my past, proving my victimhood, trying to convince myself that I was at my bottom. People were tolerant, friendly, and in time I came around. Yes....it takes some of us more time than others and hopefully we survive ourselves and continue on the path that we unknowingly began.

Patience, tolerance with these new ones as they are already kicking themselves in the pants. I was shown that what these people have....I wanted.

Had anyone been unkind, or critizing.....I may have lost the last chance I had at living a full, productive and happy life, as I would have run....just as I always did, right into the deepening pit from which I'd come.

Easy does it
Think Think Think
But for the Grace of God
Live and Let Live
First Things First

These simple phrases mean more and more to me with time.

Ree

Maybe part of the issue here is in the definition of 'whine'. Rehab gifted me a hard-nosed, no nonsense staff member who refused to allow any whining. Harry encouraged statements of fact, but he disallowed any whining! He saved my life.

I take the same approach with those I sponsor, and I make myself adhere to the rules I have for others. I will allow someone to whine for about 6.3 minutes, and then I change the discussion to what is positive in her life. I don't ignore or dismiss anyone's past, but I expect him/her to concentrate on today and how to stay sober through it. The present, to me, is more important than the past. As we gain in sobriety, we can begin to address the old wounds and begin to heal them. But first, we design our plan for staying sober.

We don't say, "Just for tomorrow"....we say "Just for today".

Ree,

Conrgats on ten!! Otherwise, how does it feel to have graduated to the status of venerable but irrelevant old fogy?

I am so glad this thread took such a nice turn

Warning warning-------I carry matches and know how to use em...maybe not when to....but growth growth

The opening part of this song seems to fit...and better in your head than mine!

rofl

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfBwsG8ubFw

I am gonna hear that all darn day sheesh

Scarlet....I'm pretty new to this site - and I have to say that most of the people on here have truly inspired me and helped me A LOT. Just think - it might be just one of your posts that helps someone like me, so please hang around. Lord knows I need all the help I can get - and I always like the giggles that some give me as well. I would say most people on here do want to help or are looking for help. Once again - I thank everyone on this site. :)

Hi M!

Good to see ya. Like others, I'm sooo glad I didn't have the internet access. I would have been one of the whiners too. You're right. The direction this board has taken is crazy. I've limited my time on here as a result. I do spend time on another site.

When I do come here, I share what my experience has been. Isn't that really all any of us can do? Not a hand holder so I have to stay away from some's posts. I don't do well with cliques.

As far as the direction of this board going crazy, it has been fairly quiet, little "drama" and no trolls. Did you all really prefer that?

And great for the ones who leave because of the way things have become. Just as it is in AA... it is up to the veterans to show the newcomers the way. It's not their fault if they don't know any better.

You all realize that a single post can change the "direction" of the board.

You, me...US are the board....spectators welcome.

Maybe make an effort to share what you feel is important once a week

Be part of the solution....it is all service work

Back at cha, D!

How are the roses? Mine have been keeping me busy, but the yard looks great. And I'm looking forward to huge water bills this summer - lol.

Intent?

Ulterior motive?

Helpful?