scarlet, there have been a lot of "new folks" who when given advice....say we're mean and they leave. They pack up their toys and go home rather than shutting up, listening & learning.

I think there are many here for their own amusement and to make a mockery of others...it's a damn change and I miss the way it used to be too.

Hopefully it will return......

SA, I totally understand.

That's all we need to do. Be part of the solution. You never know when a post you make will make a difference for someone that day. So keep posting. Please. I love reading your posts... they always help me if no one else.

I've been here for a little more than a year, and it's gotten pretty quiet in the past few months as far as "oldtimers" posting. Yup... lots of venting and a malcontent or two once in awhile. Less people active on the forum means less support is being given.

Stick around. :-)

~Chris

Jacker, very true! Sorry... I was in the middle of writing my response and got called away from keyboard and didn't see yours. Good point.

I am farely new and a complainer.............lol. I needed to be able to vent to others who understood. So, what is the solution? Is it something other than staying sober? Offering support to others who are truly suffering and seeking help?

HP - I have had people not respond to kindly to some of my posts (in my opinion) but I am still here. I have learned alot from being here as well as on my own.

Jacker - I have fully accepting my condition. What answers should I be looking for or asking?

I am honestly asking cause maybe I am truly missing the point here. I take what I need from this group/site to help me in my recovery. And sometimes, I just need to vent to others I think will understand. I don't wish to be part of the problem.

LadyCin,

I found the solution in AA. There is even an entire chapter in the Big Book devoted to the subject. I believe it is Chapter 3 or 4, entitled "There is a Solution".

Hi Scarlet, I'm not sure if things have really changed too much on here although there have been times when I have really disliked coming on here and been pissed off by insults. But, thanks to AA, I also know that often my annoyance was something rooted in me that needed addressing too.

When I first joined DS in early 2008 there was a really bad thing going on with personal insults flying all over the place. It died down, flared up again and so on... ad nauseum.

There have been some really good things too - I have seen more than a few people gather the courage to go to their first AA meeting, people who have found a happy sobriety and who are still going strong and helping yet others. There have been many times where we all have a good joke or two.

That's life - and the internet forum. I think the rants and insults on here are a bit more "in your face" because this is NOT face-to-face. No-one can thump anyone in cyber space!

Keep smiling, even if it is through gritted teeth!

I am someone who comes and goes depending on what is happening.

When I first came, I found this board quite clicky with groups.

When I first came here the people I shyed away from are the ones who ended up being my friends once I took my head out my a**e and started listening to the solution.

The thing I love here....I can ask questions I don't feel comfortable asking in AA.

Do what you need to keep sober and keep healthy.

For me, I take what I want and leave the rest. That way I don't pick resentments up (boy did I get loads of those here first off).

Thanks for the post. You are not alone.

Scarlet, I happen to agree with you. I see wonderful posts here that seem to be ignored in favor of posts that promote whining and complaining. I chalk my feelings up to being an oldtimer who is finished ranting and moaning.

I'm far more interested in the solution than I am in why someone drinks; how he/she became a drunk; what the family situation is, etc. I care far more about an individual's Program and what the positive actions are, as that is info that is universally valuable.

Sorry about my whiny post, I make so many of them

Your talking about people and their feelings...and managed to discount both rather well.

If a new person reads your post.....will they feel comfortable posting anything.? Is your hand out?

Start a new group....Ooooooh could I think of some names

Ladycin- Your are doing wonderful!!!! Post anything that helps your frame of mind...You might be the most important person here. I love your posts

whine
whine
whine

So this thread would be A. Complaining B. Bitching or C. Whining?

I suppose it can be whatever each of us makes of it.

Sweet...and indeed so...kinda informative too

Thank you to all who encouraged me to continue to fight the good fight.

Maybe a part of someone's "solution" at this point is bitching and whining-who am I to judge.

It is nice to have a place to bitch and moan sometimes.

Usually-when I see a lot of negative on the board-I have to look at myself and say "why is it bothering me-why can't I see the positive, helpful stuff?"

Usually-it is always about us-what we notice and are bothered by in others.

ladycin-I think you may have joined or started participating while I was away because I haven't read anything from you, but keep on keepin on. Ask questions. Lord knows I had a zillion when I first stumbled on this site out of desperation. Not ready to admit I am an alcoholic at all.

The first few months I was still fighting tooth and nail and refusing to go to AA, gave every excuse imaginable..here are just a few we've heard.....
1-I live in a small town & others would know me
Suggestion to 1-if they're there.....they're in the same boat as you, so why be embarrassed?

2-I don't have transportation
Suggestion to 2-how do you get to the store to buy booze? If someone drives you, have them drop you at a meeting and meet someone who would most likely gladly give you rides to meetings.

3-I'm not religious
Suggestion to 3-you don't have to be religious, there are tons of folks in AA who are atheists and still rack up years of happy, fulfilled, contented and happy sobriety.

4-my family doesn't believe I'm an alcoholic
Suggestion to 4-explain that it's not for them to decide, you know if you are or aren't.

5-I don't have the time, I have to work
Suggestion to 5-when do you find time to drink?

These are but a few of many, many excuses and believe me, I used every single one of them....well almost. My family was on board from the get go! lol!

For me it isn't just the AA meetings, it is sponsorship and the steps. I know they're scary as hell, but well worth the effort & pain. I've asked this many, many times......if being sober was that bad....would there be so many happy alcoholics in recovery? I don't think so.....

Wish you all the best lady! :) and even if you've been here a while, welcome.

Pat-complain, bitch, whine....hee hee.. :)