Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
my husband and i have a bit of sobriety behind us. our biggest problem was always drugs - we've both been drug free for years. we only recently realized what a problem alcohol was. i have just over 11 months without a drink, he has almost a year with one relapse 4 months in.
last night he had a holiday party at work. he's gone out with friends without me before and hasn't drank. i didn't think he would drink last night. but when he came home and came to bed, i smelled something off. like a whiff of beer. so i kept him talking and i swear i smelled beer (that was his drink of choice). when i mentioned it, he got offended. not like overly shouting I CAN'T BELIEVE kind of offended, but like he sat up in bed and was kind of sad and like, i feel bad that you don't trust me.
i didn't think that was how he'd react if he had been drinking. he even got his shirt out of the hamper to see if it smelled like beer because he was hugging people (it didn't but someone he works with wears waaaay too much cologne). so we kind of left it and laid back down but i still thought i smelled beer! i feel bad because it's like i trust him but i don't trust those around him. but now i'm questioning myself - it's like my gut vs. his word. and i am really torn.
i also ended up spending the night alone after a friend cancelled on me and going through some of my family photos, which included both my alcoholic biological father and my alcoholic/abusive stepfather. so i guess i'm thinking i like projected that onto my husband? is that possible - for me to get so emotional like that without really being aware of it that i THINK i SMELL beer on my hubby? (stepdad was a beer drinker and i really hate that smell).
any advice appreciated. even if it's to say you think i'm crazy. ;)
last night he had a holiday party at work. he's gone out with friends without me before and hasn't drank. i didn't think he would drink last night. but when he came home and came to bed, i smelled something off. like a whiff of beer. so i kept him talking and i swear i smelled beer (that was his drink of choice). when i mentioned it, he got offended. not like overly shouting I CAN'T BELIEVE kind of offended, but like he sat up in bed and was kind of sad and like, i feel bad that you don't trust me.
i didn't think that was how he'd react if he had been drinking. he even got his shirt out of the hamper to see if it smelled like beer because he was hugging people (it didn't but someone he works with wears waaaay too much cologne). so we kind of left it and laid back down but i still thought i smelled beer! i feel bad because it's like i trust him but i don't trust those around him. but now i'm questioning myself - it's like my gut vs. his word. and i am really torn.
i also ended up spending the night alone after a friend cancelled on me and going through some of my family photos, which included both my alcoholic biological father and my alcoholic/abusive stepfather. so i guess i'm thinking i like projected that onto my husband? is that possible - for me to get so emotional like that without really being aware of it that i THINK i SMELL beer on my hubby? (stepdad was a beer drinker and i really hate that smell).
any advice appreciated. even if it's to say you think i'm crazy. ;)
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Do address the problem with him but not with anger. Talk to him about it with love.
I can relate to the self doubt you expressed, when I was involved with my alcoholic father I constantly doubted my perceptions.
You need support!
If she would start the conversation with something like, "I love you and I care alot about you but I am very worried you might be drinking, If you have a problem that is triggering your relapse, then maybe we can work on it together so we can both put it behind us and be happy and healthy,"
Your husband may feel that he cannot be honest with you because he is worried you might come all unglued. That's coming from my personal experience.
Good luck!
he seemed to get it and i still think maybe he had a beer, but he's still saying no. i'm just going to work past it and keep working my recovery.