Ah, Timmy it doesn't make sense. But, I've done lots of senseless things over the years. I took the anatbuse. My counselor explained that my willingness to do this shows to them Im serious and thereby they are more willing to invest their energies on me. So that's the end of this story. I'll be taking it 3 times a week.

Well, you've confessed here. That should help you fess up to your counselor. You aren't the first person to fail at an aspect of recovery. This is not the end, just a bump in the road. Take some deep breaths and prepare to carry on.

Hey, good for you, Wease!

I really don't know much about antabuse except if you drink you'll get very ill, but it sounds like you stepped up and are working with your counselor.

Looks like you are committed to staying sober and working through the drinking problems.

*APPLAUSE*

you need to go back to your group and tell them what happened. You have to be honest with your program and everything you do on your road to recovery. It is a slippery road, get back on the road. You will feel better about yourself.

Jan you said you were scared to death to take the pill - antabuse. It's a commitment all right.

When those waves of fear came over me, when I first got sober, I just said to myself if I'm not totally and completely happy and my life is not perfect by the time I"m 75 - I'm going to get rip roaring drunk.

It took the pressure off. That may not work for everyone but it sure took the fear out of getting sober for me.

I hope you are doing well.

yea......honesty........it's important. Today at a meeting a friend introduced me to his sponsor and told him I have just about 2 months now. That didn't feel good. I lamely didn't offer up the truth.

Problem though with coming clean at rehab. I just became eligible for some financial assistance. Have to have 30 days clean in order to qualify. A foreclosure notice was posted on my home about a week ago and im 2 months behind in medical insurance. My husband is in heart failure....not a good time to be without health insurance. I would like to come clean, but then I'll lose the assistance. I hope Im right to not fess up, but isn't my greater responsibility to family and home, than to clearing my conscience?

I just want to move forward from here, not look back at my lies, but commit to honesty heretofore. Is that bad?

Hey, it's your life and your recovery. Nobody else gets to tell you what to do. The flipside is you have to be able to live with your own decisions. I'm not judging and neither should anyone else. Even AA hardliners will tell you that all AA literature including the 12 steps themselves are suggestions, not rules.

Thanks Carl.

Linda ... i missed your reply earlier. That is just ficking funny. I'll give it to 70, too...boy I better see some changesby then or else....lol