tell your counselor the truth - doesn't like your ready to stop drinking, not even with the pills.

Peace!

I have a friend in AA who has always told me to call him before I take a drink and we'll figure out how it will improve my life.

Next time please think about calling your counselor before you take a drink. If she/he does not understand - if you get involved in AA - you will find a great many people who will understand and help you over that desire to drink. It's amazing how it works in AA - give it a shot.

Thanks everybody. It is so apparent to me now...I have been trying to have my cake and eat it too. Soak in all the help of those who have become sober, wanting it, working towards it, thinking yes, this is so much better. In the meantime, a wine here, a wine there, not drunk, drink less, all is good.......NOT. Damn, if I didn't let my over-thinking and rationalizing trick me into thinking I was getting better. Ah, that's why I love DS.....get called on your BS everytime.

Today commitment.....tomorrow antabuse. Now, there is no need to fear it. Thank you!

Thinking of you Jan...as the BB says the only people who fail are those who are not rigorously HONEST . You first must be honest with yourself. We are all rooting for you..be strong today and follow thru tomorrow! GL and hugs d

Commitment is tough. When you are ready to go to any length, you will go to any length. Taking antabuse will be the easy part.

Good for you being honest here, but yea grow some balls and face the people who can really help you.

When you hurt badly enough, shame will be a non-issue.

With all you've been through, it saddens me that you don't want sobriety more than you do. Just keep trying Janet. You are in my prayers.

Oh poobear.......thanks for the encouragement. I am still scared, but committed to go forward tomorrow. Almost kind of excited about it now. The end is near........and that is good.

Howto....ugh.....you mean a lot to me......I look up to you a great deal...I watch and admire all that you have accomplished. Somehow to know I have disappointed you....saddens and yet encourages me. ...

I judge you not, my friend. I only hope you land safely at Desperation. You must be both alive and ready when you get there.

We do the best we can. That's all we can expect of ourselves or anyone else.

There is a point in the downward spiral where outsiders looking in can only hope and pray. When you hit a low and start an upward climb, it is your choice to reach for every outstretched hand. It is your choice to take action to prevent another slip. That choice and that action must be perceived as less painful than another fall. Sometimes that hill is a steep one to climb, but we have a choice to climb nonetheless. How much are you willing to risk and give up before you commit?

Sometimes, I just have to remember, despite my desires, that to pick up is the INCORRECT decision. Against all cravings and obsession, I did not pick up because it was the wrong choice and I knew that when I forgot all other rationale. When I was dizzy and my head was splitting from sheer resistance and my knuckles hurt from balling my fists and my jaw ached, I knew it would not kill me while another drink might.

You will do this when you are ready. That choice is yours. I hope you stumble across the courage you'll need. A lot of people here are rooting for you. Outstretched hands.

Nothing stopping you going to an AA meeting though is there ?

Anna!? Where do you come from? You so totally amaze me. Am I just a gullible new comer? Or, are you a guru? Ive read and read you posts and your replies.......you seem....hmm...,.how do I put it?........wise?....inisightful?........blessed with some inner knowledge?

If I didn't know you from your earlier days, i would dismiss you as some zealout. But, I do remember....I remember how you struggled...and fell......and with each fall.....devastation. Then, you'd eek your way back and start again....slowly and painfully. It was painful to watch. But here you are.......an enigma......at least to me.

Thanks for being there for me

yea, Nicholas........nothing stopping me, but me. I have been to many AA meetings in the past few months. I have even gotten to where I look forward to them. But, you're right. As I reflect on the past week, I havetn't been to even one. It is time to go. Thanks

Hehe... Thanks for making me smile, lady. I needed that overly flattering bit of encouragement you just gave me. *blushing*

I still struggle. It isn't easy. I am sober by the skin of my teeth some days. Everything I say, I have heard from someone else. I am no better than the "gullible newcomer" - In fact, I am still a newcomer. Maybe you "hear" me because I am not so far from you. Now get sober and stay sober, dangit!

May the force be with you.

Yoda

I always use to come up with something off the wall, sounds alot' more sturdy with something like telling them you got carjacked, throw in a black eye and a couple of bullet holes,,
~~ freakin good to go~~~~
P.S. just trying to be funny, liven it up in this place,
We have all been there and done that. You gotta go through what you gotta go through, it's your journey.

bless your heart. you remind me of me. the me i was for a lot of years. i too wish for you the gift of desperation. you have so much waiting for you on the other side and i want that for you. life is so short and the world in which you've been living is so small. you deserve better. i know it. one day, i pray, you will know it too.

In just under an hour I'll be taking the pill of no return. Scared to death. Wish me luck.

Hey I like ya, but it makes no sense to me why a person would want to drink theirselves sick.