I am going to go out on a limb here and give you the benefit of a doubt. My guess is you were probably drinking when you posted your responses. Alcohol does bring out the worst in people, it tells us that we know more, can keep abusing it and be fine. It also convinces us "more educated people" that we are immune, we are in control. Alcohol doesn't discriminate, it will take down the graduate degree holders (and yes I have one) as quickly as the high school drop outs. We just have farther to fall. I hope you reconsider your stance. This life you are leading will stomp your accomplishments into the dust. You've worked too hard to let that happen. Positive energy heading your way.

Anyone with a thesaurus knows this imbecile needs to fall down drunk and concuss the fuck out of their head.

I've found vigorous exercise, bicycling, production rather than consumption, works for me. Oh sure, I'll still take a drink here and there,, mainly in social situations where everybody else is drinking, but alcohol has no power, no hold over me. Sweating, secreting toxins, during a long bike ride produces longer lasting endorphins and more of a sense of well being than alcohol ever could.

shaunac, wow, the cream of the crop responded to you and all you saw was "judgment"? We, who have been around the block a few times can only share our own experience. I have sure been in your shoes. Those damn hangovers were killer. I am also a mother and I got hit with that shame, guilt and remorse every day. By the time I stopped drinking I was demoralized and beat all to hell. I either had to stop drinking or continue drinking myself to death. I got sober on Oct 16, 1992 and have never looked back. There is a wonderful life out there for people like you and me. Please keep coming here.

Jenny, don't know who you are or why you are on this board but your comment is way out of line.

You have every right to come here.. WE don't know what you are dealing with and what your issues are on a forum. please keep venting about it . Nobody is perfect and everyones sobriety is different . Some people do not have outside issues. Nor do they ever have the sobriety of emotion to be honest about depression or other issues. I know I drank to kill my pain. I wanted to be chilled out and not be triggered but it doesn't work . I am so glad you are here . Sometimes it takes a lot to come to that conclusion. Going to meetings helps . There are many tools to get to the place of understanding. I know we all need different help. No recovery is the same. Mine has been stubborn for many reasons . I went to meetings and sometimes the old timers just had clichés for newcomers. I also am not putting meetings down but I know for women a womans meeting sometimes is the safest place. There can be problems in a meeting that run folks off . try several before you give up. and also talk to another recovering person. Sort things out. Don't give up . Glad so glad you are talking. RL

I didn't see a sober future for myself either. I am living a sober present right now as I type. It is the greatest gift I've ever received and the most important thing in my life.

I have no doubt I am an alcoholic, and after the day when I admitted and didn't think negatively about it further, life seemed to shift to a much more positive experience. I wanted to give back tonight, by speaking of the steps, but I saw this when I went to post on the group board, and it reminded me when I was absolutely hopeless.

I rant and rave about money, sex, politics, Trump, etc., but I am so grateful when a newcomer or person reaching out for help reminds me of how miserable I was, and how not miserly the steps and other recovered alcoholics morphed me out to eventually be.

My story is one of textbook alcoholism. Strikingly great personality, even more wonderful up bringing, matched with deep insecurities, overwhelming nervousness, but most importantly, a body that physically craves alcohol once I drink it. After the craving begins, the personality becomes demonic, the ambition turns into abrasive attitude, and everyone is stupid or worthy of insulting.

Very much a Dr. Jekly and Mr. Hyde type of alcoholic, and the end story was everyone who had anything to do with me eventually finding it impossible to be both around me or invest any emotion into my situation, because it was that heartbreaking.

I was so sick, that I could end up being a janitor, and my life would be an absolute success story so far. Anyone who knows me, and knows me now, pinches themselves at the disbelief of how much I changed because of the steps.

Some simple things that reflect the change is I used to wear thrift shop shirts, cut offs, rarely shaved, rarely showered, never wore socks, wasn't overly concerned if deodorant wasn't worn, etc. Now I have a very nice wardrobe and wear blazers, nice shirts, clothes that are pressed, nice, clean, comfortable, and resemble normalcy. I shave (except when I choose to grow facial hair with a beard that is clean and presentable), I shower daily, use conditioner, lotion, anything that helps remind me that grooming and taking care of myself is acceptable and normal, the right thing to do for others most importantly.

I am about to pay off a car, am cleaning up my credit, have educated myself, positioning myself for a career that will probably be very stressful, but also provide great excuses to utilize the steps in daily living. I often practice principles of spirituality over personalities, which can be hard to do, but seems to be the best attitude for really healing with amends.

I still have difficulty managing money, and I see that I will need professional help with that, which I by doing the steps won't have too much difficulty accepting, because it is alright now that others are more sound in areas I am not solid in. I help guys who want to change often, and can help women feel the power they need to feel by getting out of their way most the time when I cannot provide the support or friend they need.

None of this change would have happened if I didn't let another alcoholic show me their way of doing the steps, and they also encouraged me to explore my own way, and never pressed me to do it their way, they just suggested and hoped it helped. I rarely talk to my sponsor now, something I am seeing will be wrong if not confronted, but I had to have a little time away with pride in order to see that a sponsor or helper that is invested daily in helping others less fortunate then them is the guide any sick person needs.

People ask what is a good sponsor, and I say a good sponsor is someone who is sound at putting their needs secondary, if not survival means, in place of the initial needs of the sponsee. The quicker the sponsee gets a working knowledge of how the steps can and will be applied to life when he or she feels their power, the less the sponsor has to invest in the newcomer because if the steps are learned, the sponsor has given the sponsee really the gift of life, and the sponsee can then support themselves.

That is what happened with me, my sponsor did such a good job I didn't need his help anymore literally! I'll still take his advice, and we still shoot the shit nicely, except when I am hogging the conversation, but I don't think the sponsor is meant to be depended on after the teaching has been done step wise, I think that leads the door open to enabling, and can limit the growth of the person spiritually. After all the real sponsorship is the one of guidance from God, God is directing all recovered persons sobriety, and lives, so admitting to him or her or it that you are accepting the case of alcoholism you have, and that it affects your life directly, is a great start if you want to treat your chronic alcoholism.