Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I'm drinking champagne..
The last time I got drunk which was 11/2, I had opened a bottle of champagne and I think drank a glass - but maybe not.
Anyway, my wife is away and she called me, pissed off at her family (too much to get into that deal). She was at a bar where she'd had dinner with them and was fairly intoxicated because of the typical BS that occurs with her family.
I got off the phone with her and remembered the open bottle of champagne - I had hidden it from her after I opened it on 11/2.
I poured myself a glass and now I'm on my second.
I hate myself for not being able to control my urges.. but I also feel like there is some hypocrisy with my wife. Okay maybe that's not fair.. she doesn't drink and get drunk as often as I did (or still do?).
I went 9 days without alcohol. The last time I tried this I went 11 days.
I want to get up early and video tape the sunrise because of the temperature change it should be beautiful and I might still do that. And if I finish the bottle and put it in the recyclables she'll never know I drank while she was away..
But you all will.. and this is why I joined this group.. I have to be honest with someone.. it should be my wife but the guilt of telling her what I've done is sometimes too much.. so I'm telling you all instead.
I realize tomorrow is "Day 0" once again.
As Doug on House of Cards said "fuck the zero"
I may or may not confess to my wife when she returns but at least I'm being honest with you all.
I feel "good" now, but tomorrow, I won't and I'll be regretting this and I"ll probably post here about my regret.
I want to record all of this now to remind myself - and all of you - that I know I've fucked up. I know I've blown it, I know I'm starting over tomorrow.
But I can't say honestly that posting this won't prevent me from getting another glass when this one is done and finishing that bottle before I fall asleep.
How do you all do it? How do you resist the urge?
If my wife were home I wouldn't do it because she'd call me on it.. but she's away and she travels occasionally for work so there will be times when I'm alone with no one to watch over me.
I had a craving last night butt I got over it - I occupied myself with stuff I wanted to get done. Tonight I was doing chores around the house and then she called, and she was drunk and when we got off the phone it made me want a drink.
My wife has a glass or two of wine with dinner and that's it - but when she is around her dysfunctional family she drinks more.. and so do I .. or at least I did.
I once got so drunk at her mother's house I passed out, and then woke up long enough to say to her mother "Your son is a piece of shit" and then I walked out of the house (still drunk) and went back to sleep in our car.
We usually spend Christmas Eve with her family - which is actually just her mother and brother (unfortunately her father passed away before she and I met). I have been good most years as far as not drinking too much because I don't want to have a repeat of the episode I described above but I also don't understand why she still wants to go there. It's always uncomfortable and I hate being there.
I'm not blaming my wife and her family dynamic for my drinking tonight.. I was craving since yesterday and hearing her bitch about her family while being intoxicated made me crave it even more.
I know I'm rambling.. I'm sorry..
I feel like you are all my therapists..
I've failed again, and tomorrow I start over.
I'm sorry.
Rich
The last time I got drunk which was 11/2, I had opened a bottle of champagne and I think drank a glass - but maybe not.
Anyway, my wife is away and she called me, pissed off at her family (too much to get into that deal). She was at a bar where she'd had dinner with them and was fairly intoxicated because of the typical BS that occurs with her family.
I got off the phone with her and remembered the open bottle of champagne - I had hidden it from her after I opened it on 11/2.
I poured myself a glass and now I'm on my second.
I hate myself for not being able to control my urges.. but I also feel like there is some hypocrisy with my wife. Okay maybe that's not fair.. she doesn't drink and get drunk as often as I did (or still do?).
I went 9 days without alcohol. The last time I tried this I went 11 days.
I want to get up early and video tape the sunrise because of the temperature change it should be beautiful and I might still do that. And if I finish the bottle and put it in the recyclables she'll never know I drank while she was away..
But you all will.. and this is why I joined this group.. I have to be honest with someone.. it should be my wife but the guilt of telling her what I've done is sometimes too much.. so I'm telling you all instead.
I realize tomorrow is "Day 0" once again.
As Doug on House of Cards said "fuck the zero"
I may or may not confess to my wife when she returns but at least I'm being honest with you all.
I feel "good" now, but tomorrow, I won't and I'll be regretting this and I"ll probably post here about my regret.
I want to record all of this now to remind myself - and all of you - that I know I've fucked up. I know I've blown it, I know I'm starting over tomorrow.
But I can't say honestly that posting this won't prevent me from getting another glass when this one is done and finishing that bottle before I fall asleep.
How do you all do it? How do you resist the urge?
If my wife were home I wouldn't do it because she'd call me on it.. but she's away and she travels occasionally for work so there will be times when I'm alone with no one to watch over me.
I had a craving last night butt I got over it - I occupied myself with stuff I wanted to get done. Tonight I was doing chores around the house and then she called, and she was drunk and when we got off the phone it made me want a drink.
My wife has a glass or two of wine with dinner and that's it - but when she is around her dysfunctional family she drinks more.. and so do I .. or at least I did.
I once got so drunk at her mother's house I passed out, and then woke up long enough to say to her mother "Your son is a piece of shit" and then I walked out of the house (still drunk) and went back to sleep in our car.
We usually spend Christmas Eve with her family - which is actually just her mother and brother (unfortunately her father passed away before she and I met). I have been good most years as far as not drinking too much because I don't want to have a repeat of the episode I described above but I also don't understand why she still wants to go there. It's always uncomfortable and I hate being there.
I'm not blaming my wife and her family dynamic for my drinking tonight.. I was craving since yesterday and hearing her bitch about her family while being intoxicated made me crave it even more.
I know I'm rambling.. I'm sorry..
I feel like you are all my therapists..
I've failed again, and tomorrow I start over.
I'm sorry.
Rich
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Just ask anyone that's been here on the forum. I used to do the exact same thing as you after I slipped and i'd post my feelings to get help. You are way more eloquent than I was though. I was usually on my 3rd glass of wine.....going for more! I went through the ringer and ended up getting into a fight with my hubs and having to take a cab to a hotel. On the way to the hotel, I stopped to get a bottle of vodka. When I arrived at the hotel, I drank in my room and then posted from the business center shit faced.
I am not going to tell you the whole story. It was a very bad week, needless to say. Thank God I had one friend from this site that I could really talk to. He made me feel safe because I was very scared-suicidal and very unstable.
I know I'm not perfect and it's taken me longer to heal, but I've been sober for almost 2 years(minus 3 small slips). I know people in AA would start counting over, but I do not. I'm proud! Maybe in the next 2 years, I will only have 2 slips, etc! You get my drift?
I wish you could feel what is in my heart, see the beauty I see, and feel all the love that God has given. Please be strong and find a way to utilize what god has given you. Hugs, cc
Being accountable to your wife and being accountable to people on DS is good but maybe the person you really need to be accountable to is YOU.
You did not drink because of your wife or her family, nor did you drink because the weather was bad or your team had lost an important match. You drank because your mind has become obsessed with alcohol and once you drank the first glass you developed a craving for more.
It is likely that you will continue to struggle until you find some means of removing that obsession that leads to taking the first drink. There are probably many ways of tackling the obsession and one of those is through Alcoholics Anonymous.
I did all my stops and relapses before I got to AA. I never had to drink again once I worked and then learned to live the 12 Steps. I hope you find a program that will work for you.
I went to AA. At the very least it kept me sober for an hour of that day.
You are not rambling. You are being honest. That is the first step.
Take care.
I got enough problems right now without having to deal with a hangover.
But that sunrise will happen tomorrow, and I hope you'll be out and about to record it! Having even a modest goal like that is worth starting over for.
Now the trick is to find / learn how to manage life without doing what I call. Ostrich syndrome. Just not feeling.
I did it for , many many years. Then I had enuf
I found a room of Alchies
Saved my life
1is2many
That's why we are here. You can vent and let it all out on this forum. We understand. We've been there.
Sometimes time is what's needed and having someone/someplace/somewhere to vent makes all the difference.
That's what DS is all about.
Blessed Be