Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I feel guilty for enjoying my wife's company better when she's been drinking. She's more fun, laughes easier, is better in bed. Once in a while she gets super nasty with me but in general I like her better when she's tanked. She does not get hangovers, and has no problem functioning the day after a binge. She drinks to numb herself to the stress of her job, which I think she takes way too seriously. She works retail and hates her bosses and customers because they're all a bunch of abusive idiots. If her stress went away I don't know if she'd stop drinking or not. The only negative thing I can list about her consumption is the cost. Her tolerance is super high, so it takes very large volumes of alc to have an effect on her. She drank a full pint of bacardi the other day and barely managed a buzz. Her normal thing is to consume a 1.75L bottle of wine by herself. Some weeks she'll have 3 of those. She has had regrets over some things she has done while drunk. I don't even know if I have a problem here or not. She has taken it upon herself to swear off the alc, but she has only ever lasted for 3 months at a time. She seems unable to have just a little bit. If theres a bottle of anything within reach, no matter how full, she will keep going until it's gone. I'm really at a loss as to what to do, if anything.
"The possibility of her killing herself with drink does not present as an immanent threat when my normally anti-sexual wife turns into a walking porn fantasy with just a little help from sutter home" i.e. I don't care if my wife develops life threatening illnesses in the future as I long as I can f*ck the hell out of her today; so I can get on with my "emotional expression".
Have you ever wondered why your wife started drinking at the age of 13? Have you ever wondered why your wife may choose to be "anti-sexual"? Why she "would go without sex at all if i let her."? That last statement is very disturbing, as if you should be in charge of her sexual attitudes; as if you think you should control whether she can be celibate/abstinent. It reeks of marital rape that you feel that she can't choose to be without sex "if you let her". If you don't let her go without sex, that's tantamount to sex without her consent. So you encourage her drunkeness to obtain sexual consent. Sick, sick, sick.
Yes, it is true that you "can't do it for her". But you can and should encourage her sobriety, even if it means she won't peg you.
If my husband feels the way you do; he's a saint in that he hasnt shared that with me.
Seriously, grow the heck up.
You both need counselling and help , alcohol is a tool used to escape and I dare say work is not the only problems she is trying to escape from .
You are using it to get the attention and love you crave so bad form her . Please know this is not real love and it will only leave you feeling guilty and unsatisfied, after time it will eat you from with in and you will end up hating yourself for taking advantage of this horrible situation .
If you truly love her you need to put your needs and fears last and be brave and strong for both of you and get the help you both need in order to sort through the problems you both are running away from and deal with the underlining issues that are causing you both to be self destructive . It is easy to turn your eyes away from the truth and enjoy the ride, but trust me ,this path will only lead to more pain and heart ach then you could ever imagine.
You both are playing a dangerous game with your physical and mental health and of course your marriage .
If your not taking action because your scarred of losing her , then you need to know that by standing by you are guaranteed to lose her , it's just a matter of time before it all blows up in both your faces .
Fight for your marriage and relationship the right way , get help for both of you now , be brave and face the truth , step up and be a hero and put a stop to this and get help for both of you .
You already know in your heart this is what you need to do because you know deep down this is wrong and taking advantage of your wife while she is intoxicated is not the man you want your self to be ,you know you are a better person than this , you are just scared of what will happen if you both faced the truth of what your underlining issues are and what the outcome could be .
Fear deceives us and makes us do or accept things we would normally not do or accept .
The first step is the hardest and one of you needs to make it otherwise you both will lose everything .