Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
My best friend is an alcoholic. Her health is deteriorating and I am so scared to lose her. Here is the problem. Her fianc who I will name "Alex" is NOT supportive. And my bff is so scared of losing Alex that she will do anything to make alex happy. So this Friday Saturday AND Sunday alex took her to 3 different parties because that is the lifestyle Alex loves to be in.
It is so hard because I am lucky enough to work with my best friend so I can watch over her for 5 days during the day. BUT then at night Alex takes over and I afraid will keep subjecting her to situations that will test her sobriety. Alex also has A LOT of hobbies that keeps Alex out of the house, and my BFF all alone for 3-4 nights a week. On those days Alex gives my BFF a hard time if she usually would just stay home.
She has been drinking VERY heavy for 10 years now. What can I do to be the best supportive friend? Right now, I bought a breathalyzer and if she stays sober for 7 days I have surprises set up for her every week. I also made sure she made an appointment with a therapist speciallizing in addiction. I am only a phone call away and try to text her ever 6 or so hours. She does NOT want to go to any meetings yet but I am willing to go too! When is it pushing too much? I don't know what to do!
Is there anything else I can do? Thank you for reading I know that was really long! I am a recovered alcoholic myself, but I did it on my own. I will never forget how hard it was. She wasnt ready to quit at the time and wasn't ready to quit with me. Now that she is ready I want to be able to help!!!!!!
It is so hard because I am lucky enough to work with my best friend so I can watch over her for 5 days during the day. BUT then at night Alex takes over and I afraid will keep subjecting her to situations that will test her sobriety. Alex also has A LOT of hobbies that keeps Alex out of the house, and my BFF all alone for 3-4 nights a week. On those days Alex gives my BFF a hard time if she usually would just stay home.
She has been drinking VERY heavy for 10 years now. What can I do to be the best supportive friend? Right now, I bought a breathalyzer and if she stays sober for 7 days I have surprises set up for her every week. I also made sure she made an appointment with a therapist speciallizing in addiction. I am only a phone call away and try to text her ever 6 or so hours. She does NOT want to go to any meetings yet but I am willing to go too! When is it pushing too much? I don't know what to do!
Is there anything else I can do? Thank you for reading I know that was really long! I am a recovered alcoholic myself, but I did it on my own. I will never forget how hard it was. She wasnt ready to quit at the time and wasn't ready to quit with me. Now that she is ready I want to be able to help!!!!!!
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
I don't want to devote too much focus on this, but it is a thought I have which is that Alex sounds like an enabler. That could make your friend's attempts at sobriety much more trying.
That said, though, I will give you my personal opinion on how you can be supportive to your friend, but I want to preface it with this:
No matter the love and endless support a person gives, which IS very helpful, it is ALWAYS the alcoholic who has to want to be sober. You may find yourself kaput after while, trying to curb your friend's drinking and volume of drinking.
Have you asked HER how you can be supportive? What she would like? I think you need to let her take the lead in how you can be helpful. It is, after all, her journey and she needs to do the work and WANT to do the work. Positive reinforcement can be useful, but if she is going a week sober just for the goodies then it's really a hollow victory. Just my opinion. I know that if I were still drinking, even on and off, I would not like someone trying to push me to stay sober, no matter how well-intended. Have an open-ended dialogue with her! You are right to worry about pushing too much; if she feels like she cannot be honest with you when she slips then that defeats the purpose.
So, in a nutshell, tell her that this is HER journey (hopefully to sobriety) and she is at the helm, but you would very much like to be there with her however she thinks is appropriate. I hope that isn't as convoluted as it feels as I write this.
I highly recommend alanon ,meetings. You will meet others like yourself and learn how they support their own friends and loved ones.
God Bless!
What I wrote was thank you'd for the replies and advice! We did discuss that everyday we would take it day by day. It is now day 3 yay! The last couple of times she quit, she asked me to be there by being there if she called. But now she is scared about her health, AND she got caught drinking at work and almost lost her job of 10 years! I think this time she is really ready. I really hope so because she is like a sister to me! So this time she wants help and I will do anything. She did say that she will tell me what is working and not working for her. I really hope that she will agree to meetings soon. Thank you all again so much!