Drinking is what as an alcoholic, I default to. I quit for many many times. I went once for two years. But the problem was I was just removing the way I coped. See booze for me was a way to escape ME. I didn’t like who I was or what I did. So I hid in the bottle.

This time I went to a group and got help with the problem. Me. I try to do good and be honorable and today I don’t HAVE to drink.

Get a network and when you are in trouble lean on your sober friends.

1-2

What’s your program? Willpower typically isn’t enough.

Alcoholism is a symptom of deeper underlying conditions.

The 12 steps of AA would help you deal with them to make it easier for you to stay sober. Most people get an AA sponsor to guide them through the steps and the costs is free plus you will have a lifelong friend who will make himself available 24/7.

Treatment programs like addiction counseling or.... inpatient or outpatient programs do pretty much the same thing but are a little more extensive. I did all of them because that was what I needed 12 years ago when I walked into an emergency room and asked for help.

I had to be willing to ask for help and I had to be willing to accept the help given, if I wanted to have a chance at staying sober. I had tried hundreds of times to quit on my own and I just couldn't do it. I failed every time. I knew I needed help.

12 years later, I am proud to say, I am sober today. I have a great job that I love. I have a great life and I have never been happier. I am proud of myself for swallowing my pride on that day 12 years ago and allowing others to teach me how to live a happy sober lifestyle.

Good luck on your road to recovery. If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask. We have all been in your shoes.

God Bless

AA - been sober since July 4, 2004

Hi there. The drinking is definitely a symptom of underlying causes. That’s what makes recovery a journey. The journey to discover and love our true self by learning what blocks we built to hide from that Before I started training my mind to look at my patterns of behavior I lived in a world of denial. The problem is that we just naturally drift towards thinking and doing what we have taught ourselves to do. Healthy or not.
There has to be a full shift in how to see your self and decide what level of life you want to exist in. For me I was so stuck in a rut that I didn’t know I even had the choice to change.
This kept me stagnant in an immature limbo. So of course I drank because the pain of the place I lived in was unbearable. I couldn’t see the bigger picture. That I could do it differently.
I have only quit once. I’ll never go back because I am learning who I really am in the clarity of sobriety. It would be turning my back on a miracle.
I was lucky to have had an accident shake me up enough to feel complete despair. I couldn’t walk or use my arm for months and was in severe pain. I knew that I couldn’t take pain meds because that would be a whole other rut so I decided then to change.
If I hadn’t had this wake up call I would most likely still be drinking. Unless I dragged myself to an AA meeting or rehab.
But without accepting my life was out of my control I would have kept struggling along and alone in my shadow world.
There’s not much I fear anymore but going back to that dark place is number one.

good post and welcome to the group! I think bobinmaine gives you some sage advice. finding a group like AA with a proven track record helped me to finally stick to a plan and quit drinking about three years ago. the twelves steps helped me to quit, understand, forgive and begin a new life after years of failing to do so on my own. please know you are not alone and there is a solution.

wishing you success and please stay in touch!

you can do it. good post.

I’m trying everyday I wake up, but some days it yells at me! I’ve tried ignoring it but seems to get worse the more I ignore it I’ve gone for days and even months before. I’m just so confused on why I’m wired this way. I think I just need a better way to destress??

Instead of ignoring it I think you need to look closer and ask what do you feel is lacking to fill it with alcohol? That’s how the roots of this issue are discovered.

part of the reason we slip is that, for me anyway, there is after the first drinks of beer a gush of a wave of almost pleasure, almost relaxation. not real, but a substitute- the remaining drinking is chasing the feeling or riding its wave when possible. A lot of things are mentioned about how horrible it is, and if we calculate it like an equation, the minuses outweigh the pluses. added up it is just another WOT. yep waste of time. there's no benefit to me in being beaten up over the morality, or the strength of will power etc etc. honestly the pleasure is ephemeral and it is not the only WOT. lesson learned. next...

Ignoring one's alcoholism does not treat one's alcoholism. You must be pro-active in seeking treatment.

I was able to "ignore" desire for alcohol during my two pregnancies. I affectionately refer to these "sober times" as "pregnancies induced sobriety". However, the desire was always there, and I always drank again because I didn't work to remove that desire to drink. I always knew that after the babe was born, I could drink again, so it was just a tedious waiting game.

When I was drinking, I wasn't able to "wish" a bottle of booze to appear before me. I had to actively seek out the alcohol.

Likewise, I wasn't able to "wish" sobriety for myself. I had to actively seek out the solution to my drinking problem.

I recovered from my alcoholism in the rooms of AA. I have had my desire for alcohol completely removed. There is no need to "ignore" now because my interest in alcohol has vanished.

There are many recovery programs currently available ranging from in-patient rehab facilities, out patient programs, support groups, therapists and counseling, secular groups, behavior modification, moderation programs, and many more, including AA.

May you actively participate in your recovery.

I began my 12 year dark period of alcoholism after the death of my mother. My poison was vodka. Last year I was in the hospital for two months because my drinking had caused a dead spot in my brain the size of a grain of rice and made me paranoid. Fortunately, with God's help, I have stopped drinking since then. It has been difficult and very trying, but I have survived alcohol. I hope to continue to do so. I hope you can as well.

I need help. It would be nice to have a sponsor, someone to lean on, but I’m ashamed to go to meetings in my small town, don’t want my husband or daughter to know what I’m going through