I think kids, that age, are pretty good at putting 2 and 2 together, when they feel neglected. If you had not been drinking, would you still have been 10 minutes late? When I was drinking, everyone around me knew I had a problem before I did!

I can't tell you if you're an alcoholic or not but I think you should talk to your doctor. Maybe your Higher Power and your child are trying to tell you something that deep inside, you already know.

I will pray for you and your family!

God Bless

I don't blame her for being upset. When alcohol is the creator of problems it's very hard to not get angry. I would be too. I often reflect back on how I was with my wife and family and thinking that it was perfectly normal and that they should understand and be behind me in everything. I would never put up with my stuff back then. Not for a second, but I expected others to put up with my stuff. Boy, was I wrong, but I really believed this at the time.
It's up to you to see if you have a problem or not. I would say that by your drinking and driving to pick up your daughter, that is probably not something you would want others to do with your daughter. Really goes to show that alcohol is impairing your decision-making skills. For me, things just continued to slowly get worse. You can try to stop it now. It really does get worse. I wish I could have changed back then. Are you willing to gamble on it?

Hello enoughisenough2,

It would be impossible for anyone here to determine whether or not you are an alcoholic. You are the best judge of that but I know that when I was drinking, I did not have a clue about what made someone an alcoholic. Therefore, I would urge you to learn about alcoholism and you will then be in a better position to make an assessment.

Having a couple of drinks does not make you an alcoholic, providing that you are honest about it. What I mean is that I often told my wife that I was going for ‘a drink’ or ‘a couple of drinks’ whereas my intention was to have a good deal more. Being dishonest about drinking is one of the signs of alcoholism. Therefore, when you say ‘a couple of drinks’ do you actually mean two drinks or did you have more?

It appears that you drove to pick up your daughter after having some drinks. I could not lecture you on that as I drove thousands of times with quite a lot of drink taken. However, the general consensus seems to be nowadays that drinking and driving is not permitted. There is a huge culture shift from the time that I was drinking. For instance, I have four of a family who all drink in moderation but I have never known any of them to drive after drinking. Maybe that is another clue that is telling you that you have a problem.

Trying to hide your drinking from your daughter and then feeling guilt and shame when you get caught may be yet another clue. Yet, none of those things proves that you are an alcoholic. Why not stop drinking for a few months and see how you get on? People who are not alcoholics should not have any trouble quitting if there is a strong enough reason to do so. If you stop but you are not happy with your decision and you long to be back drinking, that would be a red light sign. Also, if you cannot go out socially and enjoy yourself without alcohol, and you feel restless and irritable without alcohol, that is another strong signal.

A lot of 16-year-olds are not known for their patience and tolerance so the fact that you were late in picking her up may have made her angry. The fact that she could tell that you were drinking is another matter as you shouldn’t really have to hide it from her. Maybe it is time for an honest talk with your daughter. The driving aside, there is no great harm in having a couple of drinks, PROVIDING that you are not an alcoholic. You also need to be honest with yourself.