Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
My husband is an alcoholic but has acknowledged it (first step). He will confirm that he needs my help to help him limit his drinking (but doesn’t want anything to do with professional help). His pay checks go into my account... his savings money is accumulated and accounted for through my bank account. He has a gift card that I refill every week for Subway, Tim Hortons, Pizza Pizza, A&W, Burger King & McDonalds. I send him a text message every week on “pay day” which confirms how much savings he’s accumulated and the exact balance on each gift card. I used to go fill his car with gas myself every second week & get his cigarettes & alcohol (with his money). This was exhausting. I decided to e-transfer the gas money ($60 every 2 weeks along with $130 for cigarettes & $55 for alcohol which is for 12 beers and 2 mickeys is hard liquor). Six beers for Friday night & 1 mickey... same thing for Saturday nights. He’s agreed to let me “hide” the 6 other beers & other mickey until next day (mickey given after dinner or just before, not to ruin dinner). Now, he’s started to use the gas money for alcohol but lies about it... I feel like I have to do the “errands” myself in order for him not to buy more alcohol. Last night was supposed to be a date night for him & I but he chose to secretly drink before leaving & we had a horrible time. He was verbally abusive & acting mentally unstable... one second is very mean and in the same 30 seconds, says something very nice & doesn't seem to realize that he’s just been outright mean & then acts like nothing “anormal” has just occurred. This went on during the whole dinner. I just want to crumble to pieces... I just want this nightmare to be over. Deep down (very deep down now), I love him but I feel that this has been fading for some time now as it's become so hard to handle / to deal with... Help
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
From detox, I went through outpatient treatment and I remember one day out of the week we would have a family night where someones family would be in attendance. Everybody would list their grievances to the alcoholic family member under the guidance of several trained facilitators and counselors. It was very hurtful to see some of the shit that came up at those meetings, yet very healing at the same time. Everyone would leave the meetings feeling much more at peace! You can't remove the trigger to drink without healing the underlying problems.
Alcoholism has been called a family disease because every member is affect in a negative way as you can see with the control you feel you need to have over him. In my humble opinion, this is just adding another trigger to his list. Not criticizing you but just saying sometimes we think we are helping when we are not. God Bless you for trying!.
You can clearly see what the alcohol is doing to him, but look at what his drinking is doing to YOU. You need alot of support for yourself and alanon is a great place to find that support. Isn't it time to take care of YOU?
https://al-anon.org/
We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers.
God Bless
I mean read this out loud and see how silly it sounds
...(mickey given after dinner or just before, not to ruin dinner).
That’s the essence of an alcoholic, the more you help the longer this continue
Also this is another group to check into
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/wives-of-alcoholics
1is2many
"I'm powerless over MY HUSBAND and my life has become unmanageable."
He is making you responsible for his recovery or lack there of. You did not Cause it. You cannot Control it. You cannot Cure it. I agree with the comments above and would recommend attending an Alanon meeting to help you learn to be ok whether or not he decides to stop. He is probably at the point he physically can't stop and the only way he will be able to is with medical help due to the withdrawal risks. Good luck and my heart is with you.