I'm sorry that you and going through this with your father. I know it isn't easy to have a parent who is an alcoholic.
However, you can't convince him. He has to want this for himself. All you can do is not enable him in any way shape or form and let him know that you will be there for him if and when he decides to get sober.
HUGS
Jen

He can't get back to his normal life, because for him, a normal life is drinking.

And unfortunately, you can't make him quit drinking. You can let him know that you are worried about him and that you want him to get better, You can provide him with info on treatment. But he has to decide to take action.

I will pray for you and him today. There is no amount of words that can change his mind. I suggest you just go the other direction and completly ignore talk of alcohol. dont even give it the light of day. He has to think of the solution.and it has to be his idea.

I will say that you have helped me today. I used to be the one blowing up my liver. Today I go to AA and I have found a way to arrest the disease. Just know that you helped me. Thx
1is2many

Hi Harris.


I too am so sorry you are going through this and I know you're worried about him. You've gotten some great replies so far. I grew up with an alcoholic dad. I am not here to give you advice per se because I do agree that him getting help will come when and if he decides he's had enough and wants to stop drinking and save his own life. I pray that happens. I will just tell you that for my dad , after many years of denial and destruction , the turning point for him was when my mother basically gave him an ultimatum ( I'm in no way condoning or claiming that this is what works for other people ). She told him that either he quit drinking or he would lose her and that she would leave him. Me and my sisters were grown and out of the house at this point but we knew that things were escalating and knowing the pain my mom was going through as a result of my dad's drinking was heartbreaking and we supported her decision. She did try al-anon for awhile but she has social anxiety and going to the meetings were hard for her. My dad chose to stop drinking on his own and that was over 20 years ago. My parents are 81 and have been married for 60 years. I commend you for contacting the addiction treatment center and I don't know if you can convince him to go, but I hope that he will choose to get help. May I ask if you have other family members for support in all of this?

Hugs~

LMT

I think there is a blend of what's been said here. Ideally, you have a situation like LMT, where your father can't stand losing your family.

Sadly a many alcoholics choose the bottle of their loved ones. The disease is strong. Oftentimes, pleases to stop drinking are ignored and met with anger and more resentment, further digging their heels into the disease.

I'm sorry you are going through this, but happy you are taking action

This is a story that is about a daughter and her dad
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Alcoholism/How-do-we-know-when-the-end-is-near/show/1546775
Print it out and give it to him
1-2

My dad was also an alcoholic. I was watching him commit a slow suicide. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I had a rough time in school, it was a horrible life especially during his longest binges!

One day, a friend introduced me to alanon. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me at the time. I went to a meeting and met others who had a parent who were sick with the disease of alcoholism. I listen to how they lived their lives and I learned how to be happy despite my dad's drinking. I learned what works and what doesn't work.

I highly recommend alanon. You can google meetings in your area.
In the meantime, I will keep you and dad in my thoughts and prayers.

God Bless!

If that dx from the doctor doesn't snap some sense into him, you won't be able to, either.

It's totally out of your control.

I'm sorry. : (

Hi! I'm sorry for what you are going through. I feel that he has to want to go to that for himself. You can't really force someone to do something. I mean.... you can... but it won't be successful if the participant is not willing.

Read this with tears in my eyes.. I hope your father is doing better.. My dad always loved alcohol but now he's taken it to a new level. His only brother passed away last year so he decides to quit his job and make drinking his full time job. He's 58 now gaining a lot of weight and all he does is drink and smoke. We've had family interventions,.. I cried and begged and even sent him inspirational quotes on a daily basis to get him out of his depression. Now he told me its best if I leave him alone and don't speak to him until I've lived the life he's lived, We haven't spoken in a month.. I can feel he is killing himself and I fear the worst. I cry everyday and my own health is now taken a turn for the worst. He doesn't care much since he has his alcohol.

When it rains, I'm sorry to hear your family struggle also.

as everyone has said you can't fix this one or make him get help. You can google "addiction intervention letters" there is a format people can use to talk to their loved one...sometimes it works. However, as a sober coach once said "a treatment centre can get you clean but it won't keep you clean." Recovery is a long process and one where the person needs help and to understand they aren't in control of their drinking, it controls them...