If you are not positive you can stay sober for 9 months, don't get pregnant. And what happens after the baby arrives?

You owe your child a safe and healthy journey to birth by staying sober. You also owe your child a safe and healthy future by remaining sober in order to properly raise a healthy child to adulthood. Many child has been born to a sober mommy, only to have their life shattered when mommy decides it is okay to drink again. Just ask my son or daughter if you don't believe me.

AA says not to make any major decisions for at least a year, I would assume becoming pregnant would be one of them.

If you are unsure of yourself then it could be the addictive part of you is looking for a way out of making a long term commitment to sobriety. You might still have some underlying issues that need healing. The 12 steps of AA will help with that. You can google meetings in your area.

God Bless

If you are still unsure and your feeling the unsure gut feeling then go with it. The time will come in your recovery and you will know when you are ready. It may sneak up on you when you’re not expecting.

Well I just wanna share this. I have been thru a lot of things in my life the last 5 years of my addiction and I never really cried or showed emotions. But I have been in recovery now for almost 5 years but I relapsed after four and a half years so now I have 5 months clean and today I started crying pretty hard. I couldn’t catch my breath. It was so sad for that whole ten minutes thinking of everything I never cried about back when I was using but you have to let it out sometime. It felt good to cry so I can just move on now

Without knowing your situation I would say wait a bit longer and get your body in a healthier state and your mind fully committed to sobriety before you get pregnant.
The desire to have a family and making positive changes may help you maintaining your sobriety but it's also worth to bear in mind that having a child can also be stressful on you and your husband. Perhaps the more appropriate question is what are you able to provide for this child's wellbeing? Just a thought. Wishing you all the best.

Congratulations on your 45 days of being sober. Praying for strength to continue. No one but you and your husband knows if it's time for you to start your family, but hopefully, you will make that decision keeping the best interest of the baby in mind.

Get to a mentality where you aren’t counting the days and you have measures in place that help you through the obsession, even if temporarily.

I grew up with an alcoholic parent. I followed in the footsteps.

I’m scared shitless my three kids will be alcoholics.

Get your sobriety in order before having the baby. It’s the best thing you will ever do for that child, your spouse and yourself.

Congratulations on being sober! I was not an alcoholic when I had my children 23 and 27 years ago, but I recently read "Drunk Mom" and it was a horrible account of a pregnant relapse. I would not attempt such a big change so early in your sobriety, you owe it to your child. You will know when it's the right time, and your physician can help you. I thank you for having the courage to ask. God Bless you.

Congratulations on 45 days -that’s a great achievement.
If you are uncertain that you can remain sober for 9 months then I’d say that the time isn’t quite right for you to make such a life changing commitment to an innocent human being. Whilst babies are the most beautiful gift we can be blessed with, the sleepless nights can take its toll and then comes the teething....,..
If your asking the question I think you know you need to be stronger in your recovery before you make such a decision. X

She is not answering our replies so I don't think she liked our answers....

Reminds me of a story my sponsor use to share at AA meetings. He said he use to go to meetings drunk for about the first month and finally someone asked him why he bothered to go to meetings drunk and his reply was, "Because it was my turn to make the coffee!"

"Responsibility" was the first lesson he learned as an AA member!

I heard that story 10 years ago and never forgot it!

God Bless

Bob - I just hope that an innocent baby isn’t brought into an equation where the parents still have the math to work out.
Ie baby doesn’t fix problems they exacerbate them yet they are the innocent beings that are left with the miscalculation!!
Get sober + stay sober = strength (consider future) value of life > drink = strength.
Strength + strength = the ability to start over xx

To all of you and especially Mr. bobinmaine here is my reply to all of your answers.
As a child I grew up with alcoholic, drug abusive parents who mistreated my brother and I. So I know what it's like to live the life with drunks.
First let me say the fact I haven't responded and assuming I didn't like YOUR answers is a presumption that is totally incorrect. I appreciate the comments and support all of you have given me. Not sure why you would imply that statement on someone you hardly know. I am doing well with my recovery. You don't know that my drinking started when I was 14. You also don't that until August of 2017 I had been sober for over 4 years. I can and will stop this madness I am going through and most certainly don't need anyone making an implication I don't respond because I don't like the answers.
If the expectation are I need to reply to every post then I believe I am in the for support group.

Nikki - congratulations! 4 years ,sobriety..... the,fact that you have lived a,life in the world of addiction then I'm sure you understand the well meaning behind the honest responses you received. The fact that you have now given a glimpse / insight to your experiences, my reply would still be the same although I would add the question "what triggered/was behind/contributed to your relapse" and secondly "have you dealt with that fully enough to consider children"?? Please understand that the experienced members of this group have freely given their knowledge and experience to you and I - yet it takes a certain kind of person to listen, take criticism constructively and to not see responses as an attack.. To reap the full benefit of being a member of any forum is first to be honest with the content of your post. You failed to enlighten your readers with a true reflection of your story hence you received a curt but honest response based on the information you gave ie you being 45 days sober .......
Its good to read your determination to continue your journey and beat this addiction that's fabulous and I salute you for your attitude to win. However, if we expect lip service then we shouldn't take part in a forum especially if we fail to contain our posts with an accurate reflection of what got us to ask questions or post in the first place. X

This will probably be my last post to this group. I thank you all for your kindness and honesty.
The trigger leading to ending my sobriety deals with some dark issues from my early teens. I am in therapy and working through some of the issues which I am uncomfortable discussing here. But I am dealing with these issues in a positive fashion and moving forward.

Finally please pray for me to stay sober. Finding out Tuesday I am pregnant has me scared to death. I have a great support group at home and in AA and faith in God I will be the mother I know I am capable of being.
God bless all of you.
Nikki

An after thought if anyone cares. The pregnancy was not planned.
And most of the questions anyone would want to know about my life are posted on my personal page here on DS.