Has he not benefitted because he doesn't want to stop drinking?

No program will work if someone isn't ready to quit.

Hi,
Just because i had the desire to not drink does not necessarily mean I was anything butt willing to try and follow though with that course of Action!! That was many years ago and during my time sober I've seen many contributing factors in myself and others that both helped and hindered the progress one makes even after getting sober!! I personally think in dealing with our full histories even before we starting drinking is must for so many of us that keeps many in denial about the extent of our denial on a emotional level!! But it is true if you dont drink you probably wont get drunk!! But that is not necessarily the magic bullet for many people who suffer. It may only be a beginning. I hope he can find out for himself what all the disconnects in his life really means.
Billy

You should try Alanon for yourself. Let him worry about himself.
Peace.

It just sounds like he is not ready to quit....When I had lost everything that had any meaning to me, I was ready to do everything necessary to get sober and to stay sober and that included outpatient treatment along with regular attendance at AA meetings. That was 8 years ago. Today, I still attend occasional meetings and I have a very happy life.

Now think about this! You sse what your husband's drinking is doing to him....but look at what his drinking is doing to YOU!

You need alot of support for yourself and Alanon is a great place to find that support. You can google meetings in your area.

I took Camprell for a very short time in the beginning but I was also going to AA at the time and I think the AA meetings helped me more.

Good luck and God Bless,

Come on good people...I see an observation in the replies to this woman's question that it seems to not be getting directly answered...It sounds to me in her reaching out to DS that she cares for her husband very much, otherwise I don't think she'd be here....It also appears to me that her husband is trying "in the best of his own capacity" as she uses the words in her second sentence "has not benefited from......" So to me it sounds like he's trying, at least trying something??

Me being the master of analogy here.( lol)....I would not reply to someone with ED who has a direct and serious question about Viagra and tell them I wouldn't even consider it as a potential option, but in turn recommend they watch porn "and a lot of it, and if they do for a long enough time" That something might happen??..Just saying????

rummi, I guess I'm curious about your question also. I'm affiliated with a major research/teaching hospital and I wish I could tell you I knew enough information about it and the effects of some of these medications, but I can't..However I will look into this a further with my peers and I'll let you know what I learn...Hang in there...

I tried it and it didn't cure my alcoholism. I desperately wished for a magic pill. I tried antibuse and that too was a disaster. The alcoholism is a problem in the mind not in the body. The cure is to first remove the booze. Then figure out a way to not have to drink see for me the booze was a solution to my crazy thinking. I really enjoyed the feeling produced by alcohol , I just liked it too much and couldn't stop.

My wife really cared for me but she knew the only way I would ever listen was if it was my idea... I found help in the rooms of aa.

1is2many

I applaud you for trying to help your husband. The fact that you are both looking for answers...is a good thing. Sometimes we have to look at other options. What works for one does not mean it works for another.

Talking to my doctor today she says cut the alcohol by one drink for a week or two. This is a long process but manageable.

On a side note...when i quit smoking i took Buproprion. It took the craving away. In addition...it also took the craving to drink away.

There is nothing wrong about trying medication. I would prefer not to...but if it helps whats the issue?

I will continue to find whats right for me.

I personally did not use Naltrexone, but I am looking at getting it for a relative who is having difficulty quitting. Studies show that it is effective in reducing cravings. Here is a good article about it:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/overcoming-addiction/201307/drink-your-way-sober-naltrexone

I would never take Antabuse (makes you sick if you drink after taking it) -- it seems high risk because of the dangers if you drink while taking it.

Good luck! I hope it works for him -- certainly worth exploring.

Thank you all for the feedback! And beehumble 50 thank you for your support. I realize this is my husbands battle but you know what.....I'm his wife and we are a team. He is sick and I took a vow when I married him "in sickness and in health" so be it is in sickness today. I look forward to his recovery and I refuse to lose hope in him. I love him and I know that in his heart he wishes alcohol didn't have such control over his mind but it does today. One day if it is Gods plan he will recover and if my lord gives me the patience and courage to continue the fight alongside him I will. He obviously is not strong enough to do it alone but I do understand it is up to him to make the final decision to stop. For now I will continue to search for answers and if one day there is a cure for addiction I pray that my husband will be the first in line for it! God bless all of us who are affected by this disease!

Well let me know how it turns out rummi, cause your question has been one of my own. I thought of my husband and i as a team also, but i had to put him out. It was the reality that i needed to let go/get out the relationship completely.
I do agree w many of the others - you probably dont realize just how deeply his alcohol problem is affecting you, i never did! I never imagined to be living w this problem. Now i found myself needing just as much healing as him. I need AA meeting, prayer, and more...not because i had the problem, but because i became an enabler of the problem - the problem had US both.
1.HE has to want the change, and back it up w his actions and his leg work - dont get stuck like me spending hours looking for information and making phone calls, using the internet....make him do that.
2. Decide and define the type of relationship/marriage you want for yourself - his problem may never go away and it can become worse. Ask yourself what is YOUR cut-off limit? Mine happened overnight - although i put my husband out i have stayed supportive by offering rides to meetings and church (which he hasnt gone yet but says he has plans on going).. But i know he is still drinking and now possibly talking w other women.- So i've reached my limit. The reality is my husband wont change until he bottoms out - but by then ill be long gone cause i refuse to live in a continual hell.
- ive hears of a pill that causes nausea when a person consumes alcohol but i dont know how well it works.

Thank you patched up. I'm sure I too will reach my limit if his drinking continues or I lose hope. I know that this battle is his but I am his wife and I do feel some obligation there too. I don't see what the big deal is too help as best I can by being supportive and loving. Don't get me wrong, I am far from an enabler. I don't buy him booze, I don't give hi money , I don't allow him to affect my life by allowing his drinking to stopping me on doing what I want. I have a career, I own my home, I travel, I do what makes me happy because I know I have to take care of me first before I can take care of him. So far so good. It's been 10 years now and we have our ups and downs but the fight agr his dreadful disease continues hand in hand. If the day comes that I feel I no longer can serve any good I will have to step away but not today

rummi: I don't know the answer to your question, but I think that's wonderful that your husband is willing to give it a try.If it helps him to be sober even for a short time, it's a start. People don't just become whole again in a day. It's many small steps.I feel people here on DS should be kinder to each other. You asked a question.If people don't know the answer, they should keep their judgements to themselves.Keep trying, and prayers to you and your husband.