I had the support of AA which was extremely valuable in the first few months. I got an AA sponsor who was my lifeline in those first few months when my sobriety was still in a fragile state. I could call him up anytime I had a craving and he would carefully guide me through it, and get me over the hump until the next one came along. After the first few months, my cravings gradually subsided and my contact with my sponsor became less and less frequent. I have been sober for over 10 years now and have not seen my sponsor in years but I will never forget the long hours I spent on the phone with him, telling him things I would never have told my wife, they were so personal, and he shared similar stories from his own life which helped me feel, I wasn't alone.

I Everyone is different. Some just come here and share their stories with the rest of us and that is all they need. You can journal about your struggles....sometimes, just the act of writing things down has a healing affect. You can also make friends here and I am sure the regular members will help you out,

The important thing to remember, if what you are doing, doesn't seem to be helping, then try something else.

Good luck on your road to recovery. May you find peace and happiness along the way!

God Bless

I feel like an A-hole saying this, but don't worry about days or weeks. Just today. I was unable to beat the cravings early on so I had to have alcohol removed entirely as an option and went to treatment. Do whatever it takes, but don't try to do it alone. If you were able to stop drinking on your own, you probably would've by now. Strength and courage = asking for help. AA, outpatient, inpatient.....those are my suggestions.

I'd agree with my friends, going it alone is pretty difficult and even when I made it a few days, I eventually relapsed without support. Getting in a program that helps you through the initial phases of sobriety day by day, followed with a proven recovery method or plan is highly recommended. AA, Refuge Recovery and private treatment programs all offer solutions. If you do go it alone, I'd journal, as bob suggested, get plenty of exercise, change up your routine, avoid your drinking buddies or locales, drink plenty of water, and use meditation or prayer as an equalizer, whichever is preferable. Just my dos centavos!

I was the type to quit and then within days be back on the bottle. I was addicted and absolutely couldn't do it on my own. I walked into an aa meeting 6 years ago and found there was a solution and other friends that were able to help. The deal is not just the liquid in the bottle but why I needed to escape from myself.

The booze was not the problem it was the solution. I needed a replacement and that is the program of aa. It saved my life

1-2

AA meetings and lots of them.

Thank you all for taking the time to reply, I am actively searching for an outpatient counselor, I have not yet attended an AA meeting. Thankfully I have a very supportive husband, but if I don't make a change he will leave. It's affecting my family and I know I need to stop, and I'm just tired of feeling tired and foggy every day at work. The same routine, I get home from and go right for the wine. Making sure I have wine in the house or at the restaurant we go to , or wherever I am has become exhausting, I feel mentally ready to stop, so here I go, this is my day number one, wish me luck! Thanks again!

Alcoholism is a symptom of deeper emotional issues such as depression anxiety etc. So a good place to begin your recovery is with your pcp. You may need medication for any one of a number of mental health conditions which are triggering your drinking. My suggestion would be for you to make an appointment with your family doctor and she will be able to diagnose any underlying conditions that predispose you to addiction. She can also refer you to an addiction counselor as well.

Let us now how t goes because the path you take on your road to recovery may help someone else! keep us posted.!

God Bless

I will sound like a broken record here but I will repeat what a lot of others are telling you. First off let me say that for the first 3 months or so of my recovery I craved a drink 24/7. Did not know if I would ever not crave one. Some days I thought if I had a sip or two of Jack Daniels the craving would go. What got me past that was simple. I went to 90 AA meetings in those first 90 days (more like 1000 meetins it seemed). I got an AA Sponsor to help me through those first few months. He was God-sent to me. I would have never choose him cause he looked mean and nasty. He told me stuff I did not want to hear..
But he also got me to work the Steps. On June 10th of this year I celebrated my 36th Soberversary. Was not easy but I will tell you this Mac.... If I can do it anyone can. I still go to meetings.. I still share my experience, strength and hope to others. I do sponsor people.... I have one with 26 years now cause they listen. That is important to do in those first few months and first few years.... listen more than you talk. God gave us two ears and one mouth for that very reason.

I wish you the best of luck and hope the path chosen it one that will help you.

Bob

First of all – you are exceedingly strong for getting to this place. Takes a lot of backbone to walk into the unknown like this. Don’t let anyone or your own inner voice tell you any different!

There is a ton of very good advice, above. There are a lot of ways to do this, and we tend to trust what worked for us – because it worked for us! When I was teaching a colleague pointed out that everyone wanted to teach EXACTLY the way they were taught or the POLAR OPPOSITE of that way. Do what works for you and if something isn’t working pick up a different tool and try it.

If you have been drinking daily, as you describe, there is a good chance you have meandered into full chemical dependency which should absolutely have a physician involved in your transition to life after alcohol. The withdrawal and the cravings can be dangerous in more ways than one. Your doctor will probably script you for something that will greatly diminish the physical cravings. A doctor visit is also a good start to admitting to someone (and yourself) that you have a problem and wish to change for the better.

The psychological cravings are another story altogether. That is where your resolve to change and as many supports as you can fit in your toolbox (AA meetings, and AA sponsor, counselor/therapist, family, others who you know to be sober, healthier diet, etc....) come together. The more badass you can be making changes and being open to what you hear and feel - the higher the likelihood that it will truly take and be sustained.

My last drink, the doctor appointment, and my 1st AA meeting happened within 24 hours of each other. That was 21 years ago. I, like you, had a spouse who was at the end of their rope. I was exhausted and ready to surrender then too, which also sounds like the place where you are – which is great. You got to do this for you not your spouse. They can get byproduct benefits, but this is all yours.

It will feel very weird at first. I remember thinking it was a little like I was dropped in a foreign country without knowing the native language at first. A combination of vivid excitement and a lot of fear of the unknown. The biggest problem there is that the fear is usually a big motivation for wanting a drink. Viscous cycle.

The shame, self-loathing, and embarrassment are all things that all of us feel, especially at first. That will diminish over time as you get more accustomed to a different life. We all did stupid highly regrettable stuff….and didn’t do things we should have. Focus on today and let that crap be eclipsed by a better more authentic you, and eventually you can make amends when you’re ready for that.

Bob’s point about drinking being an extension and expression of deeper emotional needs is totally on point. It is my observation that there are very few alcoholics who just like alcohol a lot and get seduced by it. There is almost always a co-conspirator (family history of drinking or alcohol abuse, emotional abuse, sibling rivalry inadequacy, low self-esteem, etc…..). If it makes sense to you to try and unravel that stuff while you are initially getting some distance from alcohol – go for it. I tend to subscribe to the school of thought that says alcohol addition is problem #1 whereas the deeper motivators that push your emotional buttons are better handled when you have a clearer mind and some more emotional distance. There is no right answer.

Don’t worry about tomorrow, or one week, or one month…just get to tomorrow morning when you wake up. The rinse & repeat - just like shampoo. Likewise, don’t waste a ton of emotional capital on the past…there will be time for that later. Just do the right things for the right reasons today and those baby steps will start to feel more natural in no time.

You can do this.

Come back often and share your success and/or challenges.

may the force be with you

Pietro

Hi, I applaud you! Wanted to stop is the first critical step and you are there! Acknowledging what it is doing to your family and to yourself is huge! You can come out on the other side of this. You have received such awesome advice from those who have posted. Having personal experience with family and friends who struggled with alcoholism, all would say that AA was the most important part in their recovery. AA has been around for years and years and years and knows every side, challenge, frustration, and feeling that is involved in sobriety. The support that they offer from those who have been there is amazing. There is always a meeting, there is always someone to call, you are never alone in this. This is not something that is meant to be done alone. You need a support system, especially from those who understand the struggle you are experiencing at any moment. A counselor can also be a great help and it is good that you are trying to find one.....your doctor can probably help with this as well.......but please consider going to an AA meeting. There is also a support group for your husband, called Al-Anon that usually goes on at the same time the AA meeting is going on.....and this helps your family to understand your addiction better and to offer you the support that you need as you work toward being sober. You are in my prayers. I wish you and your family the best....here is to a new life!

It’s like being in a boxing ring with mike Tyson. You gotta keep moving or you will get knocked out. Get into action, fill the void that was drinking with new things. Learn to love yourself. Life is waiting. Go get it
1is2many

Wow thanks again so much for all or your support and advice! Well, I made it through day one, today will be day 2. I am choosing not to consult my PCP , I am a nurse and am aware of the initial withdraw symptoms, a friend gave me a few Klonopin to help with the anxiety / agitation for the first few days, that helped and I took some melatonin to help me sleep. it does feel great to have a clear mind today. But tired, experienced significant night sweating, but I know that is to be expected. It's hard to imagine never having another drink so I am as you all advised , taking it one day at a time.
I also agree with all of you about the underlying issues. I do come from a family with a significant alcohol history, my father and his sibling and my own siblings also struggle, and there is a lot of anxiety , depression and neurological disorders. I do have anxiety and ADHD that was diagnosed by my PCP in the past 6 years, so I am confident I was struggling with this my entire life and have been medicating with alcohol on and off since high school. I do believe these medications need some adjusting as they don't seem to be working anymore. I have read that there is a correlation between substance abuse and ADHD, clearly we all know there is with anxiety. I feel that alcohol just helps to calm my brain, so to speak. So thanks again, and I am hopeful to make it through day 2. The last time I stopped drinking was August 1 - 14th 2015 nearly 3 years ago.

What calms my brain now is a nice walk in the forest or a country road. Lots of water! Good luck getting to your next day. It’s a feeling like paying off a big bill when you look back and realize that you are escaping the vicious cycle

So going out to dinner with friends on day 3 was not such a good idea.

I do not know if you believe it God or not. Either way, get on your knees every morning and ask for the strength to stay clean for just that day. Only worry about one day at a time. Then get on your knees again at night and thank God. Repeat daily. Get involved in a support group. Whether it be AA or your local church. Getting a close personal relationship with God can and will work wonders. Never forget the bad times that drinking brought to you. NEVER forget them. Because picking up a drink will bring you right back to that place.