Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hello,
I don't know if Im in the right group, but I am hoping someone can help me, please.
My son is 21 & is an alcoholic. I see him flushing his life down the toilet a little more every day. I have begged him to move home, or to let us take him for treatment. He refuses to do either. Alcoholism runs in my family, back 4 generations. I used to drink socially, but have a brother & sister who are recovered alcoholics. I quit drinking about 15 years ago because I didn't want my kids to see me drink. My husband, on the other hand, thought it was good for kids to learn about alcohol from their parents, not out on the street or with their friends. He allowed my son to drink starting at about age 16. We fought constantly about this...I told my husband that our son had the pre-disposition to alcoholism, but he didn't listen. Now, we are paying the price. I am full of could have, should haves. I often thought about calling the Sheriff office on my husband. He would allow our son to drink over at his body shop, where I couldn't see it. We came near to divorce several times. Then, our son moved out last June. It has been an on/off problem ever since. The guilt I feel for having passed on this gene to him is wearing on me. Should I have divorced my husband & got my son away from this? Only NOW does my husband see the error of his ways, but it's too late. I am at a loss as to what to do. I would appreciate any advice.
I don't know if Im in the right group, but I am hoping someone can help me, please.
My son is 21 & is an alcoholic. I see him flushing his life down the toilet a little more every day. I have begged him to move home, or to let us take him for treatment. He refuses to do either. Alcoholism runs in my family, back 4 generations. I used to drink socially, but have a brother & sister who are recovered alcoholics. I quit drinking about 15 years ago because I didn't want my kids to see me drink. My husband, on the other hand, thought it was good for kids to learn about alcohol from their parents, not out on the street or with their friends. He allowed my son to drink starting at about age 16. We fought constantly about this...I told my husband that our son had the pre-disposition to alcoholism, but he didn't listen. Now, we are paying the price. I am full of could have, should haves. I often thought about calling the Sheriff office on my husband. He would allow our son to drink over at his body shop, where I couldn't see it. We came near to divorce several times. Then, our son moved out last June. It has been an on/off problem ever since. The guilt I feel for having passed on this gene to him is wearing on me. Should I have divorced my husband & got my son away from this? Only NOW does my husband see the error of his ways, but it's too late. I am at a loss as to what to do. I would appreciate any advice.
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
-
I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
You need alot of support from others who have gone through substance abuse issues with their kids. I highly recommend "Al Anon". You can google meeting times and places in your area.
You will get alot of support from others who dealt with similar problems.
My heart goes out to you because alcoholics don't realize what their problem is doing to their loved ones.
Good luck, and please keep us posted. You and your family will be in our thoughts and prayers!
God Bless!
1-2
The only time it works is when the alcoholic wants to get out. Nothing you do will dissuade them.
I think the problem is that no one really knows what to do. My brother started drinking in high school and it was real bad. At one point, my dad said it was best if he drank at home instead of going out to drink. That didn't last very long and it didn't end well.
More than likely, your son would have become alcoholic either way. Alcoholism is also in my genes and it's really no one's fault. Try not to feel guilty.
But there is really nothing you can do until your son decides he is done with alcohol. Hard as it is.
Maybe try Al-Alnon, you and your husband. You cannot change someone else, not even your son. But you can change you and how you deal with this. That is really all you can do.
They made alcoholics out of rats, fruit flies, birds etc.
Have you ever watched a spy movie where they capture someone, tie him up, and inject heroin everyday making him a drug addict before releasing him.
, if active addiction is a life.
His drinking is not your fault and you cannot recover for him
Try to think of how you can help him. You only have so much energy, and it doesn't help to worry about things you can't change. You can, however, have a positive impact on any attempts at sobriety he may make in the future. You can also plant the seed and help him to see he has a problem. Try to focus on the good stuff.
bcarey34, I have thought of leaving my husband more times than I can count. He IS remorseful & realizes now he should've listened to me all those years. I told him my resentment toward him is going to take me a long time to get over. I almost left him over the summer, but thought, that would do my son more harm than good right now. I KNOW he would blame himself, & possibly make his problem worse. I have to stick it out until he is recovered. I don't need the added stress & guilt from getting divorced right now. It is an option for the future though, believe me.
Your son being willing to go into outpatient is a step in the right direction for him. Remember, though, that for many out there, it takes more than one try to get it right.
Big hugs to you and your family.
also, try not to feel guilty about 'passing on the gene'. I am a sober alcoholic, I don't blame my dad for giving me the gene.
I think it would be a mistake to get your son to move home - you would have so much more distress in your life, and it wouldn't necessarily prompt him to get sober. In fact, the more comfortable he is, the less likely he is to go for help. that's from my own experience.