Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi everyone!
This is my first ever support group as I am just beginning to realize and accept the consequences of growing up with functional alcoholic parents. I understand now that functional alcoholics are so challenging to deal with because they seem so normal to everyone on the outside and the disease is easier to deny.
My parents were never abusive or mean, they both always had jobs and we had a good childhood. For this reason it took me a long time to understand why I am so angry at them. They drink after work daily and on weekends all day. I now have a child of my own and he is ten and they love to have him visit for a few weeks over the summer (we live in different states now.) This is the reason my anxiety has returned after several years living in a different part of the country.
In the weeks coming up to his trip I have extreme anxiety and cry a lot. I have continued to allow him to go visit because I have extreme feelings of obligation and guilt. Knowing what I know now, I realize my parents used to drink at friends houses then drive us around as children. They both pass out nightly after binge drinking and I am terrified something will happen to my son and no one will be available to help him.
I have started getting brave the past few years and have brought up my concerns regarding alcohol to my parents. I have been met with anger, denial, and resentment. This has been their way of life for so long that it seems normal to both of them.
My mom did switch to "only wine" and feels this somehow changes things. My moms dad was an alcoholic (he is no longer alive) and my moms brother has been in recovery for several years. He is supportive of me and agrees there is a problem. I have let them know that this will be the last time my son will be visiting them if there is no change. I really have no hope for change. Obviously I have been enabling this by sending my son up there despite being aware there is a problem.
I would love feedback and thoughts. Thank you in advance!!
This is my first ever support group as I am just beginning to realize and accept the consequences of growing up with functional alcoholic parents. I understand now that functional alcoholics are so challenging to deal with because they seem so normal to everyone on the outside and the disease is easier to deny.
My parents were never abusive or mean, they both always had jobs and we had a good childhood. For this reason it took me a long time to understand why I am so angry at them. They drink after work daily and on weekends all day. I now have a child of my own and he is ten and they love to have him visit for a few weeks over the summer (we live in different states now.) This is the reason my anxiety has returned after several years living in a different part of the country.
In the weeks coming up to his trip I have extreme anxiety and cry a lot. I have continued to allow him to go visit because I have extreme feelings of obligation and guilt. Knowing what I know now, I realize my parents used to drink at friends houses then drive us around as children. They both pass out nightly after binge drinking and I am terrified something will happen to my son and no one will be available to help him.
I have started getting brave the past few years and have brought up my concerns regarding alcohol to my parents. I have been met with anger, denial, and resentment. This has been their way of life for so long that it seems normal to both of them.
My mom did switch to "only wine" and feels this somehow changes things. My moms dad was an alcoholic (he is no longer alive) and my moms brother has been in recovery for several years. He is supportive of me and agrees there is a problem. I have let them know that this will be the last time my son will be visiting them if there is no change. I really have no hope for change. Obviously I have been enabling this by sending my son up there despite being aware there is a problem.
I would love feedback and thoughts. Thank you in advance!!
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
There are a number of different points to consider here and each is important in its own way.
The most important consideration is the safety of your child because he is too young to make his own decisions on such an important matter. If there is any doubt whatsoever in your mind about his safety, then you need to take him away from the source of danger. Could you compromise and go with your son on a shorter trip to his grandparents? Be careful not to let your judgement be clouded by your anger towards your parents. Sometimes the children of alcoholics will deny their parents access to their grandchildren as a means of punishing the grandparents. This is understandable in the case of active alcoholics but unfortunately, it also happens to alcoholics who have not had a drink for a long time.
The second issue and one that you should not ignore is your own anger towards your parents. Regardless of whether they continue to drink or get sober, your anger is going to eat away at you and destroy your peace of mind and it would be wise for you to deal with it. Al-Anon meetings may be helpful or you could consider some form of counselling.
Unfortunately, it is unlikely that your parents are going to quit drinking any time soon. As you have stated, they are in denial about the problem and active alcoholics do not like to be confronted about their drinking. You do not have the power to change your parents but you do have control over how you react to them. You are not under any obligation to them so you do not need to feel guilty about doing what is best for your son.
You are as much a victim of alcoholism as your parents. Check out Al-Anon and regain your peace of mind and freedom.
I watched my mother commit a slow suicide with red rose wine so keep in mind that "minimizing" is an alcoholics favorite favorite ploy!
You need to take care of you and also your child and if I were you, I would keep the kid away from the parents.... I know you love your parents but the safety of your child needs to be your top priority.
You need alot of support and alanon is a great place to find that support. I have been to their meetings and they have helped me out tremendously! You can google meetings in your area.
I will keep your family in my thoughts and prayers!
God Bless
Here are a couple of links consisting of Info I consider vital to living in the real world given my upbringing and disposition!
Billy
http://www.adultchildren.org/lit/ACAIs.s
http://stepchat.com/chat/room7.htm
HuGGGGgggsssss!!!