Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hey! I'm new here and figured I would try to explain where I'm at and possibly get some advice. Currently I'm not a full blown alcoholic. Two years ago however I was depressed, I drank every day, not during the early day but would start drinking by mid afternoon and black out at least three times a week, even if I worked at 5am.
I started drinking heavily at 19 after my mother died, I used to chug off a bottle of vodka every night to get some sleep. I lived with two alcoholics at the time and being so young and new to drinking for a long time I thought my habits were normal.
21 was the year I started blacking out frequently, people would tell me stories about myself that shocked and scared me. Alcoholism is weird though, when you're young and such a lovable drunk. No one seemed to see a problem except those who saw me everyday. So I thought I was okay and have a hard time accepting it to this day. It got worse, I would black out and kiss strangers (including women) and even peed the bed several times.
The final straw was getting my friends car stuck on a dirt bank, then blacking out, and peeing myself again only on her bed. Drinking and driving was the one thing I've promised myself to never make a habit. I spent the whole next day crying and trying to figure out how to explain and realized exactly what I'd been doing to myself.
I stopped drinking for about two weeks, but had started dating a guy at the time who was also an alcoholic and had four alcoholic roommates. Somehow through that (mostly from being near broke) I cut down to drinking only several nights a week. I embarrassed myself plenty in those nights.
I ended up visiting very religious family to help them out while they were having a hard time and stayed almost two months, during that time I only drank once and was able to clean out my system.
I still drink, I still open a big bottle of wine on a bad day and chug the whole thing, maybe mix it with some tequila. I was a vegan until I cut down on drinking, now I'm a vegetarian, I've gained 30 pounds from numbing with food. So I stop overeating, eat healthy so I drown myself in watching tv and smoking at least a pack a day. Decide I'm watching too much tv so I smoke too much pot or use other drugs, decide I'm smoking too much and I distract myself with sex and although I'm all about free love I don't always go about it in the right way, or pick people that make me feel good about myself. It's like I traded being a drunk for being just a smidgen everything. Not enough of one thing to be considered an addict, but perhaps I'm just fooling myself. I don't know what I am now.
This year it's like I'll have a Week where I'm doing fine and then before I know it I'm drowning myself in everything, then I taper down and repeat.
Its stupid though. I'm only 23 years old? No one around me would tell you I have a problem. But when I think back on drinking until I can't remember every night and how I went right from that to just continually distracting myself.
i don't even know if I have a problem half the time, sometimes I'm like "yeah I probably do" but most of the time I think "I'm just young and living life and experiencing!"
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So mad at Xfinity! They're trying to charge me $115 per month for the same service I had been paying $50 the last four years. I took the equipment to UPS for shipping and cancelled my subscription today! Next door was a cookie shop called Crumbl. I had heard of it before but never went in until today. I don't need one more sugar fix, but maybe it will help with my sad) grieving heart....$15...
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
It looks to me as if you definitely do have a problem.
I am rushing out now and cannot answer your post in detail but if you look at another thread above, “is it possible to control alcohol?” the same answers will apply in your case.
I can relate to thinking the way you drink is normal, when I was your age I thought ordering two drinks to start dinner off was normal, and everyone else at the table was just "trying to be good." I remember carrying around a champagne bottle at a wedding asking myself why everyone else had glasses, honestly puzzled at why I had no clear answer.
Consider yourself lucky, God nudged me into AA when I was 18 years old, and that was very difficult, all my peers where enjoying life as senior about to go off to college, and I was going to outpatient treatment for alcoholism and drug abuse.
The people around you probably know, blacking out three times a week, then urinating yourself regularly is not common when people drink. Smiling a little more, feeling woozy, and food tasting just a bit better is what happens when most normal people drink, we drink, and we start smiling like maniacs, feel as if we are in complete control, and want to binge on the worst kinds of food thinking they taste better than all the gourmet foods in the world!
Consider it may be your thinking, and consider your thinking not to be a complete mess, but just would be a little better off with a source of concern and care that is greater than you, in a good way. From my experience, if you're young, and you're asking yourself or getting into lots of drama from drinking, or surrounded by lots of drama and have to drink to get through another day, this is God saying he wants you to be lead by him (or her) for decades instead of torturing yourself for decades constantly wondering, confused, if you are a alcoholic or not.
AA says the next time you drink, seriously set out to only drink a set number, and if you can, and are content with that, then you might not have reached the "point of no return through human aid", the black outs are the most alarming though, nobody can make the argument they were in control when the end result of the drinking was a blackout, unless they had an agenda to get drunk, which non-alcoholics do from time to time, the real question is, when you black out, did you want to black out when you started?
There are some really strong women in this support group, message them and you'll get some really sound answers to the problem you see.
That emotional pain you are numbing will not go away. It will get bigger and fester and cause worse problems until you deal with it and there are several ways to go about it. You can talk to your doctor about it, and be completely honest. Your doctor can point you in the right direction.
I went through and IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) also called the Serene Program that was during the evening which allowed me to work my day job. Here, I was treated for some things that predisposed me to addiction such as depression, and ptsd. I was also taught coping skills having lost both parents to alcoholism.
You can get a referral from a doctor or just pay a visit to the Alcohol and Substance Abuse Center at your local hospital, for an evaluation.
You can also visit an AA meeting. The 12 steps of AA have helped millions across the globe! You can google meetings in your area.
I wish you luck on your journey to recovery and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless
From what you wrote it seems like it started right from the get-go. Alcoholism is not limited to any type of particular person or any age group. It can develop over time and not start out as alcoholism, or we can start right from the beginning as alcoholics. It's not something we are born with, but it progresses and develops with time.
We drink because of the effect that it has on us, and the relief or pleasure we get that normally we can't find. Most of us drink because it relieves the effects of traumatic experiences that we went through at some point in our lives, although we are often not even aware of this until we find some type of treatment that helps us get to the root of the problem.
So it's not just because you are young and experiencing life. When your young most of us `can cope a lot better cocerning alcohol. We can bounce back as if it were a normal thing, but as we age and the disease progresses it becomes harder and harder. Our problems and consequences become enormouse until comes that day when we just can't do it anymore, and we can't stop. We either die or try to find help.
Your very young, but you have this disease. You can learn to manage it and have a chance to have a good life. With alcoholism, you only have three things that definitely will happen if you continue if you go on. Prison, being put in an institution for wet brain, or you die. Getting help offers you a chance to live. It's up to you. Wish you all the best. James
So what do you do? Keep searching for a relief from the depression, anxiety, boredom, whatever. Usually that starts with the gym.
I'm doing this all over again right before I start a new life, but I have hopes that this move will be a good change and I can leave all of the old habits here. Thank you again:
Hopefully your move to another state will lead to improvements but unfortunately, experience has shown that where there is an alcohol problem, it usually follows as people do what has become known as “doing a geographic”, that is where people move in the hope that a new start will solve the problem.
Maybe you need to take a close look at your drinking and make a separation between two things. There is life as you would like it to be, where you can drink like other people, and then there is possibly the reality that you cannot drink safely. If it is the latter situation, attempts to avoid reality by fighting against it or running away will lead to much pain and misery.
I am not suggesting that you are moving in order to avoid the problem but just be aware that the move may not solve it.