Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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A memory and a question

MHudson
MHudson

I remembered something a few days ago when I opened my medicine cabinet and saw a small bottle of aspirin. Four years ago I was going to visit my brother on Christmas Eve.  He was picking up some food that morning, so I called and asked if he'd pick up a small bottle of aspirin because I only had one or two in the bottle.  Looking back, I think I asked because I was pretty sure I'd have a headache the following morning from the wine I would probably drink when I got home from his house. I don't remember if I drank a lot that night, nor do I remember if I had a headache the following morning, but I do remember being concerned that I might run out of aspirin.  I can't say this with certainty either, but I'm sure I was hoping/planning to stop by new years back back then too. Otherwise I most likely would have asked for a large bottle.


I'm in a much better place and frame of mind now, and for that I'm grateful, but I have a question. How does one deal with memories of failed attempts at sobriety?  This is just one, but I'm sure there are others. I don't think going over and over them, beating myself up is the right thing to do, but I do think being mindful of previous failure is a way to successfully achieve the goal I've set for myself.  I suppose finding a balance or middle ground is probably that best thing to do, but I'd really appreciate any input you might have.  Thank you. 

Shiney
Shiney
You focus on today, and staying sober, you can't beat yourself up for what happened in the past. It is always good to keep in the back of your mind somewhere what drinking led to, and the unhappiness it brought - that keeps me on my toes & stops me from having that first drink.

this is my first time becoming sober & so far 1 1/2 years, my sobriety is so precious to me, the thought of drinking again, destroying my life is so abhorrent to me that I take it one day at a time, one step at a time.

I can't bear the thought of starting at day one again, and ruining all this hard work, that keeps me sober & gives me an inner peace.

Others here will give you some good advice from their own personal experience, I just know how it is for me !
Community Leaderbobinmaine
bobinmaine
Whenever I felt guilt over the reminders of my drinking, those pieces of memory would arise at different points when I was sober. They were periods of my life that needed forgiveness so I could let it go and move on with my life.

This is my second reply and I apologize for that. I wrote the first one late last night and upon re reading it this morning, I felt it was too deep when all you have to do is forgive yourself, that's all.

God Bless
finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
Like Shiney I have only had the one quitting alcohol experience. I have a behavior of avoiding uncomfortable things so that’s what I did with my drinking until I simply had enough of the loneliness and low self esteem.
However I think any past memories where we feel inadequate are a block to moving forward. They stick around until we stop giving them power.
MHudson
MHudson
I'm notorious for letting guilt, regret and disappointment from the past live in my mind here and now. Another thing to work on. Thanks everyone. Have a wonderful day.
1is2many
1is2many
The alcohol is only the symptom , the underlying issues of guilt and regret are real the alcoholic issues. They are normal human emotions but somehow alcoholics have them in spades, what I do is acknowledge the emotion and then tell myself that the feelings will pass. Keep your mind focused on positive thoughts
Kevin105
Kevin105
I think this may be different for everyone who has recovered, but for me, the many relapses I had were the lessons I apparently needed in my journey to sobriety. Some get it right the first time and god bless them, but it took me countless tries, and I just accept it for what it was. After over 4 1/2 years of sobriety, I’m okay with it, but still try my best to help others avoid the same pitfalls. But in the end, I’ve come to believe that we’re all destined to follow our own path.
MHudson
MHudson
Thanks again everyone. Almost a week into the new year, and I'm doing well. I hope the same is true for all of you.
1is2many
1is2many
How are you doing? Staying on the path?
MHudson
MHudson
I'm happy to say, I'm still on the path : )
Kevin105
Kevin105
Congrats and thanks for sharing!
Impermanence
Impermanence
I have many failures. When I looked back, I realized that one common denominator was that I held on to the belief that there are times when even a normal person would get drunk. But I am not a normal person. I am an alcoholic and there is no situation in which I can say screw it I need a drink.
Finally, with that thought and other insights into my psyche I quite for good.
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