Just don't do it....I had a lot of bad things happen and a lot of anger in my sobriety.....and many problems...I wasn't really fixed...but I was sober.

Then in the 9th year....I caved because I quit my job....I spiraled out of control for a whole year and 1/2...I could not stop.

If you are an alcoholic..and you cave....you may never recover again....Stay strong...trust me....getting drunk will make everything worse and especially will make you more angry, more depressed and more desperate than ever before.

Thank you Missy2. Thank you for letting me know I am not alone

Glad your here.Reaching out is the first step.I know for me I can't do this alone.

It is possible to be sober and happy.

I too quit , once for 2 1/2 yrs and just was a dry drunk, see I used booze to cope , i HAD to drink again, it was like a pressure cooker with no relief valve.

After drinking for 3 more years and getting progressively worse I finally decided I had to work on the problem. Me.

I found a group of other Alchies and we help each other stay sober.

I'm happy and don't have the ic behavior as much anymore

C'mon

1is2many

Don't risk the real possibility of never being able to stop again.

Thank you all, you will never know how much your words have helped and comforted me

The alcohol is a symptom of an unmanagable life. We drink, it feels more managable, stuff stops bothering us..until we get sober again. When we look for outside help with our drinking related issues, say AA, we find a group of people just like us. Many are still going through those unmanagable times, emotional upheaval, not wanting to believe that they can get through all their problems, because they just can't see the courage within-----YET. Then on the other side there are people who have achieved decades of sobriety, who sit patiently while someone shares they found drugs in their child's dresser, or a loved one got diagnosed with cancer, or they just got laid off and are expecting a new child. We can't see the other side of our problems and those people who sit with that knowing look, also could not see the other side at one time. But they now know there is another side and sometimes we just have to find tolerance marinating in ourselves.
Your anger is predated by fear, which is predated by hurt, we learn or adapt our emotions in our environments. When an environment is too polluted to inhabit we tend to work with seeming singular emotional focus. The other emotions have been too dulled by what is polluting us, sort of like drinking did with you and when you could not take it any longer, you put a plug in the source of the pollution.

Yes I understand where you are coming from and, for me, until I addressed the root causes of my relationship with alcohol and the way I emotionally reacted to just about anything, good and bad, I could not find peace in abstinence. Alcohol is no refuge - your rational thinking tells you this but once the alcoholic thinking takes over all bets are off. Find your way to get peace and strength within, to readjust to life without the need for chemical alteration which leads to misery.

For me that route was through a programme of recovery which alcoholics like myself have lived and found beneficial. I didn't know what I didn't know so I became open to learn and change my reactions in life. It was hard but the rewards immense. If I can get free and be at peace so can you!

Hello taurusthebull,

First of all, congratulations on being five years sober that gives you a good foundation and something to build on.

It is good that you have also recognised the need to do work on yourself. Sometimes putting the cork in the bottle is enough but in many cases it is not and people who struggle with living sober are sometimes described as being restless, irritable and discontented. It is possible to go from that state of mind to a feeling of peace and serenity within a relatively short period of time but it is something that needs to be learned. There are probably several ways of learning these new living skills but it is usually necessary to obtain outside help.

My experience is with the AA programme of recovery and I have found that it works very well in dealing with anger and other emotions that get out of balance. AA is not the only way but it does offer you a great chance to take charge of your life and to make improvements in areas that are causing you concern. Counselling may be another option if AA is not for you.

The worst thing that you could do is to ignore the problem so whether you decide to do, I would urge you to do it now. You and your family deserve a peaceful life and that is something that you can have.

I went back after 24 years sober. It is very difficult to quit again. It took me seven years.

Here are some ideas to prevent relapse

Seek professional help. Speak to your doctor. Ask about a referral to a therapist.

Mindful Meditation has been a great aid for me.

Learn acceptance. The only person that you can change is you. I accept my partner as she is. Maybe some day she will change, but only she can make that choice.

Through the 12 steps of AA, I learned to let go of anger and all the negative emotions that were holding me back from spiritual and emotional growth. The support I received helped me to live life on life's terms. I learned that I could not control others, I could only control myself and how I react to what others do.

I use to use alcohol as my refuge but now I use the support of AA members many of whom have been in similar circumstances as me.

No matter what problems you feel you have, chances are someone here has had the same problems as you so don't be afraid to ask for help.!

God Bless!

I'm going through something similar... I'm only three days in cold turkey... but boyfriend is still drinking. I told him last night i was on permanent alcohol vacation and he just gave me this blank look. I've been a drinker for many many years... I started drinking heavily when he moved in with me... im not blaming him but i used it as a refuge when i was frustrated and just needed to escape from life. Now, I guess I will need to find other ways to deal.

Hi TaurustheBull,

Congratulations on your five years. It's very common to hit some kind of wall at various times in sobriety. For my money around the period of time you have is when many hit a big hurdle. I've been to the place of intense feelings of pain, emotional heartache, and frustrated anger. It happened most pronounced in my case at 6 1/2 and again 10 years out. Somehow I got through that time frame without drinking. In my case I had to be hospitalized in a locked ward twice for an underlying mental condition that alcohol and drug use complicated the diagnosis of. Although all my challenges and pain in my life haven't gone away totally since then, I manage to get through them to meaningful brighter periods. In any case I have not had been a patient in a locked ward since 1996. For a long time I used the term working on myself. Nowadays, I call it more of a process of exploration, that has it's good moments and bad ones. And a lot of boring ones too, but boring can be a good thing too, as I feel we aren't designed to be a perpetual motion machine.

Talking to family, friends, and taking time for ourselves can help put things into perspective and be of great support. Counseling, communities of faith if that's your cup of tea, and alcohol specific mutual support groups can be of help. Basically, any social group we have a passion for and form warm supportive relationships with people will do the trick.

If you decide to go the alcohol specific support group route there is the well known AA. Additionally there are the equally valid options of SMART Recovery and Women for Sobriety, of course there may other support groups.

I found just forcing myself to practice smiling a lot until it became more genuine helpful. I went a bit long, but I can do that at times.

Ah honey I know how you feel.
Only I have a program so when I feel that way, I have people to reach out to who talk me off the cliff. I have steps to work and inventory to write. It works. I don't know why, but I know how. And if I just keep pushing forward that feeling passes and I'm back on track.
my husband drinks. I got sober for myself, and to be the mom, wife, friend, etc I want to be.
Anyway, its all a journey and a process and I love it. I'm grateful.
I'd suggest AA but that's cause its worked for me.