Hi- I'm with you- I have 2 kids as well and ready to chart a new course:) It is also in my genes as well, on both sides. There are so many people on here that have such wonderful insights, experience and knowledge... good luck to you! (I'm a first timer as well)

I wish my dad made that decision early-on. He's still drinking and I have hit m 10 months sober. It feels amazing.
Keep coming here. You will find all kinds of support and advice.

Hello JHormann16,

You are very welcome to the forum and I wish you success on your journey.

You have now admitted that you have a problem and the important next step is to fully accept that you cannot drink. The great fact is that if you can avoid taking that first drink you need never binge again.

The support of other people such as family and friends can be helpful but bear in mind that many of them will not understand the problem. Success will come if you are accept that you cannot drink and become fully committed to doing whatever is necessary to stay sober. Dont be afraid to ask for help from people who share the same problem if you find that you are struggling.

I had a hard time quitting the binges. I let my emotions take over. someone would upset me and i used it as an excuse to go on a binge. Even happy times was an excuse to celebrate.

Mindful meditation was a great help for me. My emotions are no longer overwhelming.

I was in Disneyland with the kids this week. I ordered a lemonade and the clerk asked "with or without vodka." I said "without." After that I reflected on what it would be like if I had the vodka. I would havethe uncomfortable cumpulsion to have another. Even if I did not have another my day would have been ruined as I fought the compulsion. I heard that you have to give them your card and the computer records the drink. There is a 2 drink limit per day. I would have been a wreck.

Instead I had a wonderful day.

This is a great place to start! You will find a lot of support here. This is such a rough time for you, but you can do this so please stay strong and keep the faith. Your life can be better and happy (and your children's lives). Please let us know how you're doing.

I came to the conclusion that i could not quit from willpower alone, having tried hundreds of times and failing miserably each time.

I knew I needed help. I had parents who were alcoholics and my mother died from alcoholic liver sirosis at the age of 52. I was devastated because I was just a kid and I didn't understand why someone would want to commit a slow suicide, in front of her kids on a daily basis and I blamed myself for her death, for many many years and it wasn't until I entered into an outpatient treatment program, that I was treated for the shame and guilt I was holding onto for all those years. Having to live with so much shame and guilt, negatively impacted every decision I ever made from the job that I settled for to the woman I married, who was my exact opposite and not the soulmate I had dreamed about as a child. I felt I didn't desere a good woman at the time.

Had I not been treated for the issues which predispose me to addiction, I probably wouldn't be here now, sharing my story with you. All I had to do was get myself to detox at the hospital and that was where it all started. 4 days of detox, followed by a 3 week IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) followed my 3 months of once a week, relapse prevention group counseling.

Throughout all the treatment and counseling I had, AA meetings were a requirement.
I have a sponser who I can call anytime day of nite and he will help me stay sober no matter how difficult life gets, he is always available to me. People helping people is one of the bricks in the foundation of AA.

That was over seven years ago. Today, I live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier! I wish that same happiness for you as well! Good luck on your road to recovery. Please keep us posted because the path you choose, may help someone else!

I will keep you in my thoughts and Prayers!

God Bless!

Hi J and Others,

Just for the record, I have been doing a LOT of research on the topic of alcohol addiction over the past 3 weeks (my term of sobriety) and I can simply find no real scientific evidence that proves there is a "gene" related to alcohol addiction. So while you likely have been exposed to numerous other alcohol addicts during your life, there is really no evidence that you inherited some "weakness for the drink". My take on it is that anyone can become addicted to alcohol and once you do, it becomes an integral part of your everyday life. All habits are based on a repetitive routine and once you get used to ingesting alcohol on a regular basis, your body and mind expect you to continue with that medication schedule. You drink because you enjoy the feeling of being drunk to some level. And you continue to drink because you crave that feeling both physically and psychologically, especially when you are hung over from the most recent exposure.

I am currently of the belief that you must simply recognize you have become addicted to a substance that makes you feel good on a temporary basis while causing harm to your physical, mental and social well being. You will feel much better with alcohol out of your life, and that is your real reward.

Anyway, that is my take on it.

It is great to admit you need help. It is great to admit you have a problem.
Our loved ones do suffer. We suffer. Our social lives suffer. Myself, I would leave social media out. Those who know you, likely already know and they will hear from you, or through the grapevine, that you have chosen to do something different. There are people who might not need to know, at least on a self-admittance level. It won't make any amends to your family, there will be no sudden graces. The backlash of that decision may even make a binge look very inviting. Just my take. I proceed with caution when possible, I talk to others and listen to what they say. Your employer, courts, say if child custody ever becomes an issue, everyone has access to what you publicize...

I did decide to post my decision on social media and have found so much extra support and kind words. My husband on the other hand thought I was kidding. His response what, "what about fair and snowmobiling? We always drink!" It honestly hurt me so bad. I can't believe that the man I've been with for 7 years would actually care that little about me.

Welcome JH

It is very hard when your family members do not support you. When I first got sober. my BF told me that I couldn't be an alcoholic because he drank more than me and he wasn't an alcoholic, Of course, he was the one wearing ankle bracelets for DUI's.

That is one of the reasons I sought AA. Here I would get validation of my disease. and a plan to stay sober.

There is also a lot of sobriety here and we care about you.

Hugs

You need to rise above it and take care of yourself. I am sorry your husband does not understand how serious and destructive the addiction to alcohol can be. He has obviously integrated alcohol into his (and your) social lifestyle and he likely cannot imagine how anyone could enjoy socializing (fair and snowmobiling etc.) without being at least somewhat drunk. I can understand that perspective as it sounds a lot like my attitude before going sober. I simply could not relate to life without alcohol and never really considered sobriety as an option. My wife quit drinking about 6 months ago and was a light drinker before that. When I opened my eyes and saw that she was OK with it, I began to think that I could be too. And once I started to look clearly at how much I used and relied upon alcohol, I make the decision to get it out of my life forever. Give your husband a chance to see that you can enjoy life without alcohol and perhaps he will see the light too. Or maybe not, but that is the best you can do.

I don't know how much your husband drinks, nor how imbedded and intertwined drinking is in how you guys relate to one another. At best it may be just the shock of your announcement. People say some pretty stupid and lame stuff when they hear things that take them by surprise. May be you can discuss your decision more thoroughly and find out where his head and more importantly his heart is at concerning your decision not to drink.

I'm with you. My parents were both alcoholics and I always said I would never be like them...yet here I am. Hoping to find sobriety and get right.