Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
So, I was doing well for a while a couple of years ago- but now I am right back at it. I don't understand how it controls me, but it does. And with it comes the horrible anxiety and depression. It has been years since I have been on this forum, but it helped me before and hope it does again.
I am now facing what appears to be the beginning of liver damage (it might be something else and I am seeing a hematologist) - but every value in my blood that is wrong "could" be liver and still I drank a bottle and a half of wine last night. I guess I figured that if I already have it... Not really sure how I justify it again and again, it just magically appears in my glass, and I know I shouldn't, but I do it anyway.
Today is is the easy day for me, I tend to quit the day after cause I feel like shit. Then I cannot get past day 2 because I feel better, that is my awful cycle. And the blood draw was in May, I really hoped it would be a slap in the face... but apparently is was not hard enough.
I am alone. And I want a new life, but I cannot do that until I get myself in order. So I hope I am finally ready to do this for myself and hope I can find the support and understanding I need here. I will need help tomorrow. So if you are inclined please send me notes or experiences that will get me through.
And off topic - I find texting and social media to be an alcoholics worst enemy... does anyone else wake up the day after and frantically check to see who you called or texted or messaged, and you cannot remember? I hate it. I blackout easy, probably easier than most... You would think that would be prevent me, but it does not.
Please help if you are so inclined. I need to beat this. I can beat this. I am ready to beat this.
I am now facing what appears to be the beginning of liver damage (it might be something else and I am seeing a hematologist) - but every value in my blood that is wrong "could" be liver and still I drank a bottle and a half of wine last night. I guess I figured that if I already have it... Not really sure how I justify it again and again, it just magically appears in my glass, and I know I shouldn't, but I do it anyway.
Today is is the easy day for me, I tend to quit the day after cause I feel like shit. Then I cannot get past day 2 because I feel better, that is my awful cycle. And the blood draw was in May, I really hoped it would be a slap in the face... but apparently is was not hard enough.
I am alone. And I want a new life, but I cannot do that until I get myself in order. So I hope I am finally ready to do this for myself and hope I can find the support and understanding I need here. I will need help tomorrow. So if you are inclined please send me notes or experiences that will get me through.
And off topic - I find texting and social media to be an alcoholics worst enemy... does anyone else wake up the day after and frantically check to see who you called or texted or messaged, and you cannot remember? I hate it. I blackout easy, probably easier than most... You would think that would be prevent me, but it does not.
Please help if you are so inclined. I need to beat this. I can beat this. I am ready to beat this.
-
check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
-
I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
I guess my best "tip" would be to get all the alcohol out of your sight. Then find something very absorbing to do. Like cooking or cleaning or gardening or writing to a friends or shopping or . . . . you get the idea.
As for drunk texting - not my issue. I tend to just fall asleep rather than blackout and not remember what I am doing. I always seem to remember. Sometimes hazy - but it's there. The worst is dropping and breaking things, or being clumsy in general. If drunk texting is your issue, then hide your phone. But you won't need to do that, because you won't be drinking - right?
Yes - you CAN and you WILL and you ARE doing it. I wish you success!
And I wish AA worked for me, I went a while back, but I cannot do the "higher power" thing, it mostly makes we want to drink. :) - But I am happy for everyone that it works for. And I appreciate your kind thoughts and advice.
My biggest offenses were drunken posts on Facebook and emails, especially to people at work. Yikes!
I FINALLY got sober in April 2014 and haven't touched a drop since. I quit on my own and find wonderful support here. I just decided that "old me" was dead and buried.
I threw myself into new activities and resuming activities I used to enjoy but was too drunk to fully engage in. It's so nice now to read a book or magazine article and actually remember what I've read.
For me, it was like breaking a bad habit and instilling new ones. I just NEVER EVER want to go through feeling that awful again -- you nailed it by mentioning the horrible anxiety and depression.
We are here for you and please keep posting. My best advice is to remove all alcohol from your home and not replenish it.
and congrats cloverset14 - I hope to be you someday :)
Sounds like yu might have fatty liver disease which is a precurser to liver sirosis. If you want to live a long life, I would do all I could to stop drinking. Sirosis is not a pleasant way to go....that's how my mother died...
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
God Bless!
and anxiety is a trigger, I have generalized anxiety disorder, and medication for it...but I need to get better about recognizing and handling it better, thanks for the support :)
I couldn't do it alone and am glad that I don't hav3 to ..
1is2many
I have certainly been there with the text & phone calls. Frantically checking who I conversed with, what time & how long. What a mess. So sick of that fight. Your not alone. I struggle every day. I take it moment by moment. Stick with us.
Frankly, as much as I have drunk over the last 15 years, I am surprised my blood tests are not showing liver problems. If it ever did, I actually wondered if that would be enough of a wake-up call to make me quit. Probably not without some other motivation or plan.
I want to refer you to a couple of my recent posts and journal entries where I explore what seems to be working for me and also some triggers that would lead me to drink. Perhaps they will be of some help as you work to understand what makes you drink and figure out how to stop and get healthy.
http://www.dailystrength.org/people/4909533/journal/13516283
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Alcoholism/forum/20892217-thoughts-drink
http://www.dailystrength.org/c/Alcoholism/forum/20927589-procrastination-juice
Expensive wine is a tasteful joy hiding in liquid sin. Today is another Day One for me, after an escalating binge that ends daily.
The advice shared by others has enduring value. Stay on this good road.
I'm a very active AA member now, with nearly 2 years sobriety (next week.)
You can have it too. Want to feel better two days after a hangover? Go to an AA meeting instead of a liquor store.
@nelliefay - perhaps I went to the wrong AA meetings way back when, and I know a higher power can be anything...it just seems like these forums work better for me.
@BurningMan - wonderful quote... about wine, I just figure I have christmas gifts covered this year :) - and hopefully both you and I make it though today - I am hitting the treadmill next...
@jeffneedshelp - it is really nice to know there are people who made it, continue to inspire people.