Doing things my way is what got me aquainted with AA. Maybe I should try it AA's way for a change. I tried it for a year and liked the results and that was back in 1987 and I'm still practicing AA's way but I take what I want and leave the rest. Tom

If you don't believe that you can just turn it over to god and you feel that you have to take responsibilty for your own actions then I only have one question for you, at the risk of sounding like DR Phil "How's that been working for you?" My best thinkling got me into the rooms of AA. It was time I stopped thinking and started listening.

hi ashley yes you can come to aa and do what ever you want. I did that too been there and done that my first 3 times in AA. Let me tell you my sobriety times also from those experiences in aa first time was in 1992. During that 2 1/2 yrs of being sober I had a temp sponsor and then for some reason I started drinking again. That was from 1992 to 1995. I also during that time took up tae kwon do and made it half way to a black belt. I eventually got bored with tae kwon do and left it. Shortly afterwards I began drinking again. I didnt have any thing outside going wrong that I could point too as too why I would go back to drinking it just happened. Now during that 2 1/2 yrs I did my program did the steps my way. End result I got drunk. Began drinking on the weekends only but as always I went back to drinking every day. In nov of 1995 I went back to AA my drinking and life was out of control. This time I did get some good sponsors but i still for some reason only wanted to do things my way. I loved the take what you want and leave the rest saying I heard in the room. Under that delusion I only applied the steps that seemed convinient. That time I stayed sober 4 1/2 yrs. We bought a House, 2 trucks and a boat. From the out side all seemed well, The american dream. Married and 4 kids. One day in 2000 I sat in a meeting I helped start and I thought you know what it must of been the drugs and not the Booze. I left that meeting knowing knowing I wasnt a alki but I was a drug addict. I didnt start drinking but my mind did something it had never done before. I started thinking about all the new booze that was out. Like zima and red dog. Every day I wondered what they tasted like and felt like. Every day the obsession grew till one day while sitting across from my wife while out for dinner I asked her if she would mind me taking a sip of her fruity cocktail drink. She musta forgot what i did every time i drank. How drinking always became more important than anything. She pushed the drink across the table and I took only a sip. This was only the second social drink I have ever had. I had a very abnormal reaction I could taste the rum in the back round and it tasted nasty. I gave the drink back to her and then I thought to myself "that was the stupidist thing you have ever done Dave you just threw away 5 yrs of sobriety". I didnt say anything and didnt start drinking again but then a few months later soemthing happened, one of my kids got hurt and I had a mental black out and I drank. Too this day the events of that day are still hazy I had to ask the wife when i beagn drinking. I got worse after that and yes my drinking continued. The progression was worse every day. Soon I was unemployable and all the stuff that we enjoyed like the house and the boat and the new trucks no longer were that imporatnt to pay for. It got hard to even feed my kids. If it came down to feeding my kids or getting done that day I always got done. I came first. Alcohol came first. I now knew what the BB meant when it said we became shivering denizens of his mad realm. I now experinced booze playing God. It told me when to drink how long to drink and when I would stop. It told me where to eat. It told me what to do. All that changed on 07 21 2001. I begged to go to rehab and they turned me down but AA was there and it said keep comming back. I knew that all my other times in AA i didnt stay sober but I had only one thing to ask myself did I really do everything that was in the directions from the BB. The answer was no I did not. I always chose what I would and would not do. But this time was different Alcohol was now my master and all my old ideas I knew would not work. See this is my story I have been where your at. My pride and arrogance nearly cost me my life and that of my family. I was given a sponsor who took me right thru the steps out of the BB and he told me that I only had to do this to the best of my human ability. I recovered. I was shown how to take others thru the steps. I then became a sponsor. It is over 7yrs later and nothing has gotten me drunk. In 7yrs I have exp bankruptcy, loss of employment, devestating illness. In 2005 while skydiving I was nearly killed and spent 2 weeks in a drug induced coma. I came too partaily paralyzed from the waste down. made it thru that sober. They put me on phentynol and morphine. I came off all pain meds in 3 months not addicted to any. In all my experiences not once have I had to fight to stay sober this time. But that is what the BB said would happen if i would seek God thru these principles. I dont know if your alcoholic or not. I would only know that if we took and opened a bb up and read it together to see if your exp matches what a real alki is and isnt. I dont even know if this will help you. I remember My whole life i lived for the rake what i wanted and leave the rest but ya know what AA the program has never told me to do that. AA members have but that principle isnt what the BB says. I had to be convinced that my way would not work. my own exp confirmed this beyond any doubt. I wont tell you what you need to do I pray that you find a solution that will work for you my solution is the one I was given from the BB. I know my way wont work. I know what it is like to be delusional and believe the lie my mind tells me. And ash AA doesnt say its our way or your going to fail. It does say that if your a real alki and have failed at doing it your way maybe our solution will work for you. If you prefer another way than do it. But if your at the point where all measures have failed than come and join us try with all your heart to do what we have done then look back at the results you got from following our directions. See if you like the results see for your self.

Went to a concert last night that started out wittha one hour traffic jam, missed first act of the show. Absolutely didn't bother me, I sit back enjoyed the fresh air.
Got there, geeze, a beer could be great if I had an option to drink. Talking about the thought that things just might end up "normal", with my actions. There is a 10% chance that I could drink to normal. Or I could give alcohol the power and end up with the 90% chance that I am gonna suffer from my actions; go to jail, physically or mentally hurt somebody, make a fool of myself, hurt myself physically, or just plain be blacked out, and hear about the stupid shit I did.
Wether the obsession was removed or not, I could care less, I just felt the overwhelming power of truly understanding step one. I do realize now why they say you can make no mistake with step one.
I truly believe when you have had enough, you have truly had enough. The unmanageability just follows the powerlessness like a caboose.
BTW, the idiots @ this concert were great and entertaining. Had to tell one little fellar that if he bumped me again, he might suffer some consequences.. They moved their little "beat each other up party" about 10' down the hill.
First concert in 10 years, and alcohol was never considered. I have made it through the steps, never finished. I had a great time and seen a bunch of my X roofers, acting pretty alright. I thought to myself, add me and alcohol to the mix, me and the boys would end up in that crazy ass MASH PIT???, whooping on that poor little weasle.
I remember everything, and am greatful that there is a program that gives me the oppurtunity to understand this disease, and keep this disease in "remission".

until u believe u are powerless over alcohol and the idea that life ran on self will is crushed u are all up hill baby. a.a. wont preach to u. i couldnt just turn it over to god either!! a.a. was my higher power for the longest time. i wanted nothing to do with god.i did rely on a.a. to keep me sober .good luck

We alkies do love to rationalize, and we take a lot of dubious comfort in it. But I'm not at all convinced that theological rationalizing is of a finer grade of organic fertilizer or any greater benefit to us than any other type of rationalizing. Some of us have gone far enough into drinking that we became true "denizens of alcohol's mad realm" and just knew that we had to reconsider the spiritual aspect of this disease or die, and some of us haven't. But even for us who did get into that mad realm, it was still very encouraging to learn that we need not consider anyone else's conception of God in order to achieve lasting and contented sobriety.

"We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us." (BB, Chapter 4: "We Anostics")

I love that Nemo,, He MAY be found. That's all that really matters to me, is that there is a chance. I don't and won't complicate it, the book says some gradually change, well that's me.
I thought myself right outta this program every time.

Ashley:

I, personally, do not believe in AA. And if I stated what I, personally, think of the concept of the Judeo-Christian version of God it would only start trouble on here.

I BELIEVE I am an alcoholic. Because I have come to understand that, I BELIEVE it is imprudent for me to drink alcohol. Period.

I'm not saying don't try AA. Obviously, it does work for many. And I seriously applaud any alcoholic (myself included) who finds a methodology that works for them and keeps them from drinking, whatever that may be.

But I, personally, do not use AA OR God as part of my bag of tricks for not drinking. I simply choose not to drink, and that works for me.

ImBroken;

It is both refreshing and promising to hear someone admit that they "simply choose not to drink".

If all the "token collectors" who hang around AA would admit that this in fact how they stay sober; AA's percentage of helping newcomers would go up drasticly due to the lack of mixed messages.

AA was not invented for those "Hard Drinkers" who still have the power to choose not to drink (Big Book page 24 & 34)

Who of us hasn't been there..that spot when the questions start flooding our minds...Am I an alcoholic...Can I quit on my own...ect, ect, ect..

and then we answer ourselves with statements like...I'm not that bad....those people are foolish...they don't know what they are talking about...I can quit anytime I want to...that will never happen to me....

Are these questions not enough?