Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."
My social anxiety has crippled me all my life. It started with those awful teachers who I hate who had nothing better to say to me other than "she is so shy and quiet." My whole identity throughout school was built on this label. Year after year, "she is so shy." I even received an award for being the "most quietest," in drill team during high school. I went home, ripped it up and cried. No award for being the one with the best personality or the nicest smile. But it didn't stop there. I struggled in college to make friends. I was so alone and didn't feel like i would ever be accepted anywhere. I was not known by anyone. No one asked me to the prom, I had no social network of friends. When I was in high school, I was so shy, I dated the first guy who asked me out, who happened to be 28 and divorced when I attended a community college in 12th grade. Little did I know when I was 17 that that was statuatory rape. This so called boyfriend of mine tried to make me give him oral sex and I almost threw up. I didn't even know that existed at the time. I wanted to have friends and be "normal," so I moved into the dorms hoping to meet people my own age. Never happened. I was too shy and afraid and stuck with this same "toxic" boyfriend. My story goes on and on to include awful ways that I met men that I will not share because of desperation and embarrassment. Today, I am married to a very emotionless man .. and in a bad relationship.. no shock there. Today, I still have major social anxiety. Just to leave my garage to say "hi" to the neighbor takes effort for me.
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When i was in the ER February 16th 2025, i was being admitted to ICU where i was for 3 weeks, then had to relearn to walk for 3 weeks in another hospital rehab floor, the nurse told me something that made me feel for over 18 months now that i was finally *safe*. She told me that the guy who raped and beat me 21 years ago now almost 20 years at that time, was in prison as of a month before that...
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I've been feeling like I don't matter my wife the other day instead of telling me she was having a pain day when I went to have sex with her she tell me afterwards that she having pain day due to her fribromyalgia and making feel like shit afterward saying she has a list of things from past 9 years of thing for me to do and is always adding more and more to this list and talk...
But, it's never too late to turn things around.
Have you had any therapy, or tried any anxiety medications? There are medications called SSRI's, which are excellent for social anxiety. It practically takes away the anxiety about talking to people. Paxil is one that comes to mind.
Therapy can help a lot with social anxiety, and with other life issues.
There is hope out there. Glad you reached out to us. Please think about therapy and medication. It can really help you to have a completely different, happy life.
Best wishes.
Dunno what I am reaching for here. Maybe the suggestion that you start with learning how to love yourself, just the way you are? Qualities, such as shy or extroverted, are just qualities. It's what you do with those qualities that counts. Shy is not a bad quality in itself.
You've taken the important first step in writing it out.
Shy is a word used by people who have no idea of what is anxiety is. That is the best way they can provide a 'positive' statement for you. It's actually a compliment to your well-being.
That award you received for being the 'quietest' is a compliment from the people you participated in the activity together with.
Take a moment to assess your skills. Use those to help you build the confidence that is inside of you.
The fact you attended college is a huge accomplishment in itself. You recognize it is difficult to say hello to people you know. That's a strength.
Best wishes as you find your better balance.