Cinnamon02,
I recently started back to church after being away for a long time. I also did like you and made the decision several times to go then backed out at the last moment. Finally I went and am glad I finally made it. This church is bigger than what I am use to. That has made it difficult for me to go and be around that many people. It is also good because I do not know most of these people. They do not know about my fears and difficulties. Most are there for their own reasons and probably do not even notice me.

I have gone a step further and have started attending a small group that meets once a week. Through that group I have met 5 ladies. We study a topic for a few weeks. As we share, we get to know each other better. Over the weeks I have gotten to a place where I could share about my agoraphobia. Just a little at first. In time I have come to know them better and they have come to know more about me. I have had a couple of phone calls from these ladies and a couple of us email each other short messages during the week. I do not feel so alone now.

As for the actual church, I am learning more about their beliefs. I am getting familar with the minister through his teachings. It is strange how the sermons seem to touch right on what I am needing each week. I have discovered that I can put in as much of myself as I want. I can slip into the service each Sunday and slip right out if I chose and probably few if anyone even notices. I have found there are many opportunities to serve in this church, if I desire. I figure if I volunteer to do something I like to do and have skills to do. I will feel reasonably comfortable and I will also learn more about the church and the services to my community that it provides. I also will meet more people and possibly make some friends.

I have gotten to the place in my life that I feel I am in a prison. The longer I have the agoraphobia the worse it seems to get. About 6 months ago, I made the decision that I had to do something. I felt like I was dying and no one even knew or cared. I had to do something. Attending church was one of the steps I took. Getting out of my house was another. Interacting with people was another. This did not come all at once and it has not been easy but with little steps I have come this far.

You are not alone. Others feel this way too. Agoraphobia can be overcome but you have got to be the one to do it. There are those out there that are trained to help us, but you have got to be the one to start the action. People here on Daily Strength are here to give support. You can be free.

I wish you good luck. I am always here if you want to visit and there are others to.

Can you arrange for your priest to come to you? A lot will, once they know the situation.

To Okiegirl: Thank you. I'm trying to get out a little more so hopefully it will be less stressful when I do try. Before I stopped going, I was a Sunday School teacher and had been very active with the youth group, but sitting thru a sermon was rough. I'm one of "those" who can do some things, but not others. Thankfully, I'm able to leave my home. I'm just not able to do all that I want. When I was married or in a relationship, I had a support person and could do more - not now and that seems to make getting out more difficult. But I'll keep trying:)
gurley79: Thanks for your thoughts. My Mom's pastor lives about 1/2 mile away, but I'm invisible (and he makes me uncomfortable). He doesn't visit her at the nursing home even tho she was a charter member of the church. My area is rural along with the pastors not being available. I do watch a local sermon on tv every Sunday, but I need to be with people:)

maybe you can have someone to go with you. that way you know someone there and if you get scared that person can tell you it will be ok.

I used to sit in the very back pew so if I needed to I could escape without too much notice. That way I could build up tolerance and familarize myself more to my surroundings.

I don't know make them think your incontinent. That's what I do.

Thinking of a replacement for what is really going on helps me sometimes. That way I don't think that they are thinking " Oh, there is the crazy lady who has to flee out the door." Incontinence has similar looking symptoms to the untrained eye.

When I think the absurd when the symptoms are upon me it really helps alleviate it.

Cinnamon, I have the same problem. Also live in a rural area. I wish I lived in a larger town and could go to a church where no one knew me because I think that would help a lot. I'm tired of feeling guilty, yet even more afraid of the outcome. Wishing you well.....

Planning....you had me laughing so hard......what a great idea! I'd also thought of sitting in the back pew, or by the side door, but the idea of faking incontinence is wonderful :) Thank you so much for that......

Loveabounds, thanks. I like to take the pressure off when I can when I am stressing.

Cinnamon, at least you did the dress rehearsal. Even if you chickened out, you are one step closer to getting there.

I tried out a new church recently and found the experience quite rewarding. It's a way to add a layer of structure to life, connect to community, and gain some much needed spiritual nourishment.

For panic suffers, all three of those things are undoubtedly helpful.

The first service will give your nerves a jolt. There's no way around it. Accept and work with that fact. Break up the task into as many pieces as needed to easily digest. :)