Agoraphobia & Social Anxiety Support Group
Agoraphobia is an anxiety disorder, often precipitated by the fear of having a panic attack in a setting from which there is no easy means of escape. As a result, sufferers of agoraphobia may avoid public and/or unfamiliar places. In severe cases, the sufferer may become confined to their home, experiencing difficulty traveling from this "safe place."
I decided to join this group as I feel like my social anxiety is really beginning to hold me back from things I really want to do. I somehow got myself through 4 years of university and got a degree. I never went to lectures because I was always nervous and afraid walking around the uni just incase I bumped into people I knew. Now that I'm graduated obviously the working world does not allow you to be like this what with interviews and the necessity to interact comfortably with other humans on a daily basis. I recently pulled out of a training scheme on the 2nd day because of a near panic attack I almost had before a simple introductory presentation on a topic of choice. It really wasn't a big deal but I completely could not handle it and just left the room before my turn to get up.
Anyway, most of the time I have managed to hide the fact that I find social interaction intensely uncomfortable. To be honest there have been times when i felt free from social anxiety. I do want to be social, I enjoy peoples company. Usually on a 1-to-1 basis I am actually ok. But when it comes to any group interaction or anything remotely involving me feeling like I am talking to a group I have intense nervousness and even panic. Like any human I crave and desire interaction so unfortunately for me I have developed the habit of self medicating my social anxiety with alcohol. For me this goes unnoticed as I live in a culture that involves alcohol in most social situations. Of course now I feel I have developed alcohol dependency. I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic as I can stop drinking and could happily live without it. It's just that for social situations I feel like I need a drink. Perhaps that does make me an alcoholic.
Anyway, it's all rather distressing when I try to figure it out. I feel like I have missed out on so many great friendships and to be part of group friendships because of my social discomfort. I think alot of time people think I'm being rude or just odd.
This has no real coherence so apologies. Now that I am actually trying to explain the problem it has so many elements that make it difficult to really explain clearly.
I guess I just wanted to introduce myself to the group and I wish all of you luck in building self esteem and self understanding so that we can be free from this horrible affliction.
Anyway, most of the time I have managed to hide the fact that I find social interaction intensely uncomfortable. To be honest there have been times when i felt free from social anxiety. I do want to be social, I enjoy peoples company. Usually on a 1-to-1 basis I am actually ok. But when it comes to any group interaction or anything remotely involving me feeling like I am talking to a group I have intense nervousness and even panic. Like any human I crave and desire interaction so unfortunately for me I have developed the habit of self medicating my social anxiety with alcohol. For me this goes unnoticed as I live in a culture that involves alcohol in most social situations. Of course now I feel I have developed alcohol dependency. I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic as I can stop drinking and could happily live without it. It's just that for social situations I feel like I need a drink. Perhaps that does make me an alcoholic.
Anyway, it's all rather distressing when I try to figure it out. I feel like I have missed out on so many great friendships and to be part of group friendships because of my social discomfort. I think alot of time people think I'm being rude or just odd.
This has no real coherence so apologies. Now that I am actually trying to explain the problem it has so many elements that make it difficult to really explain clearly.
I guess I just wanted to introduce myself to the group and I wish all of you luck in building self esteem and self understanding so that we can be free from this horrible affliction.
-
On Saturday, while I was at yard sales with my best friend, my lawn guy texted me that he did my lawn. This costs me $70 every two weeks or so. I don't have great grass so sometimes, he skips. Anyway, I paid him on CashApp when I got home. On Sunday morning, he texted me again, to say goodbye because he was moving. My little thinking cap went on and I thought about how I am healthier...
Interviews --- ick. Sometimes I get so jumpy I get "reverse shyness" and start taking over the interviews. Seriously. I get myself into all kinds of trouble that way. It seems funny now but at the time is not fun at all.