Adult Bedwetting Community Group
A place for adults who still have problems wetting the bed to talk about their feelings, to discover solutions, and to talk about life in general.
Ive been a bedwetter my whole life. Im 20, and since I was little till about November of 2020 it happened almost everynight. Though I dont talk about it with anyone, obviously close family know and two friends and they only know bc of accidenta that occurwd at their place. I never let it stop me from going out and staying with friends I would just stay up as late as I possibly could and then hoped for the best when i woke up. My body does not wake me up and im a very deep sleeper! I was in a very depressed state last year and I finally got some help and started going to a therapist and got some meds butttt the crazy part is.. I went from peeing every night to waking up one morning and this was about one week before i went to the dr to see if there was anything else we could do because ive tried everything from getting my KUB looked at and meds, ive never had a sleep study though which I feel would have benefited. But the big moment that changed my mind from acting as if nothing happens and not trying to get help again to calling the dr. And getting in is staying at a friends place multiple people and I had an accident on their couch while sleeping next to other guy and girl friends. Ive had accidents occur before but none so obvious bc it was a light colored couch. Ive never been one to talk about it I just hide it the best I can and leave as fast as I can. It was so embarrassing, these were newer friends too so I was sooo embarrassed Ive never talked to them again and tried to forget about it. I feel bad bc they were great friends that I lost to something I cant come to terms with. And one week after this is when I randomly stopped bedwetting. I started going to a therapist but honestly wasnt helping. She kept asking what are you wanting out of this to be able to talk about it freely and understand it s not your fault. And the whole thing just upset me bc im still not okay that I was a frequent bedwetter for years and was never able to relax and have fun when I was with friends. Family understood but was just as frustrated. I use to have a plastic sheet over ky mattress basically until last year when i stopped and I still think about it to this day. I atill live at home and go to college bc how was I suppose to live in a dorm with someone when Id never know if it would happen. I share a room too which makes matters worse and when my sister would have a friend or someone over they would always ask about my bed bc it was never fully made with a comforter I just used blankets bc they were easier to wash. Anytime I laid in my bed or moved it made a crinkle noise so anyone would know it was there and im pissed, still frustrated and cant get over how much i hated that plastic sheet. So now up to recently, I havent had any accidents at home but here I am 20 and in collegw so ofc I might have a few drinks here and there. Well last night it was a friends birthday and everyone was drinking, we all passed out and I was sleeping (actually sleeping) with the bday boy in his bed. When I woke up this morning and I always wake up the earliest bc im so use to it from doing it my whole life at friends houses to check and see if I had an accident and covwr it up as much as I could well of course I had an accident the first time in awhile. I know it was from the alcohol and honestly any of them could have done it too but It happened when I was sharing a bed. Literally one of my biggest fears im not afraid of heights or spiders but of wetting the bed w/ a guy or friend in it. I woke up and left but I left some stuff over there. So if I didnt leave stuff over there I would not talk to him again unless he messaged first bc I dont know if he realized or not. But I had to message him and ask if he found my stuff and if he would put it in the mailbox so i can just stop by and grab it. The real reason obviously being I cant look him in the face after that. We arent dating but have been hanging out for a few months but now I feel I have to throw it all away bc I still cant come to terms with this is how my life is. Im still frustrated that people can go to bed relaxed and wake up all fine why I have a stressed out panic attack. I have but dont really date bc I dont like people getting close to me bc I feel eventually ill have to tell that for them to be aware of what might happen but I just cant and I start to cry everytime I think about the future. i guess my question is to anyone that is married or in a relationship that live together how is your partner? Understanding? How long did it take you to tell them, if at all?
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I've just been updating my profile information because I had a birthday last week, and so I'm now 25 instead of 24. It doesn't feel any different though!Just so you all know a bit about me: I suffer with anxiety and occasional panic attacks, and sometimes I do an accidental wee in bed while I'm asleep. Now I'm a year older than this time last week I can report that nothing has changed, although I...
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I've just been updating my profile information because I had a birthday last week, and so I'm now 25 instead of 24. It doesn't feel any different though!Just so you all know a bit about me: I suffer with anxiety and occasional panic attacks, and sometimes I do an accidental wee in bed while I'm asleep. Now I'm a year older than this time last week I can report that nothing has changed, although I...
I don't know how to tell someone about bedwetting. Same as you I've got my two best friends both know I still wet,
Hope you can sort this out without getting too embarrassed and if you ever want a chat then message me. I'm just another girl who understands what it's like to wake up with a wet bed xxx.
You are not alone with this. Quite a few of us still struggle with bladder control and we can supportive each other.
It sounds like the person you spent the night with is someone you see quite a lot of anyway and would really like to see again, so don't hide away; I would email/message them and just be honest. If they care about you I would hope that they will be understanding.
In fact everybody I have told or my wife has told has been amazing - supportive and understanding. The key for me was learning how to manage my incontinence and to be confident in the steps I was taking and the protection I was wearing so I could go out with confidence, knowing that if/when I wet I had it all under control. So please don't get down or be embarrassed. There are lots of people here you can talk to and share experiences with and hopefully help you feel better about this all.
I wet the bed every night and also now have daytime problems.
Like you I did not readily talk about it as it is not a great topic of conversation! I also shied away from forming relationships and certainly staying anywhere overnight. What changed for me was finding the best way to manage it, which in my case was wearing adult nappies. I also used to use a DDAVP nasal spray but I found that it gave me a headache and also made my bladder very unstable the following day. Once I settled on nappies and found the best ones for me to cope with my wetting I became more confident. I now use the TENA Slip Maxi Active Fit and also use a washable bed pad just in case of leaks. Changing could be a bit of a palaver and I was worried/embarrassed about being found to be wearing nappies as has happened. And I have still had the occasional bad night when despite all the above the bed has been wet. But when I have told someone and apologised they are always very understanding.
When it came to relationships, even once I had become more confident in managing my bedwetting, I was still embarrassed by it but I did have a few close relationships and when things were getting close and more intimate I did tell the person I was with that I had this problem and wore protection. Without exception they were fine. Though the person who was to become my wife did refer to my nappies as 'the passion killers'! Which I guess was fair enough as having to take it off is hardly 'romantic' so I made the point of putting them on later.
Anyway, what I am really trying to say is don't be embarrassed and don't hide away form relationships. It's a medical condition that you can manage and if the person you are with cares about you they will accept you just as you are.