Adoption Support Group
Adoption is the legal act of permanently placing a child with a parent or parents other than the birth parents. Whether you are looking to adopt, putting your child up for adoption, parenting an adopted child, or just thinking about it, this is the place to discuss.
ok so I have my birth mother but my stepfather adopted me. My birth father has recently contacted me and wants to get to know me . He left when I was 3 am now 41 and have seen him twice breafly since then . Until last weekend anyhow. My wife and I had dinner with him his new wife and my sister I didnt know I had. I am really excited at the history of my family that he holds as well as getting to know him .Especially since I have been compaired to him my whole life . You act just like him , you look just like him . Now look just like him is an understatment as we could be twins. My question is about my birth mother and adopted father. How do I get to know him without it hurting them. I know my dad is worried that I will turn against all that he has done for me over the years. How do I get them to understand that it really has nothing to do with them and is really none of there bussiness.
deleted_user
I am from a very similar situation. I met my birth father face to face at 30. I think you just need to be open and honest with your parents. Just because you want to get to know your birth father doesn't mean you love your parents any less. One thing I would stress to them is that your relationship with him will be completely different. More of a friendship. Your parents have too much history and are or at least mine are as much friends as they are mentors for me. Even if I got to know my birth father more, he would never take the place of my parents and not even a distant second. In my case, my birth father made the issue a moot point since instead of taking the time to get to know me and form a bond, he used our first and only meeting to trash my mom and make excuses for giving me up. We haven't spoken since. I honestly would just be straight up with your parents and explain your reasons for wanting the relationship but stress that your bond to them is strong and steadfast. Good Luck :)
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