ADHD / ADD Support Group
Attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) are more common than you might think. It is a syndrome that exhibits symptoms such as hyperactivity, forgetfulness, mood shifts, poor impulse control, and distractibility. Join others who suffer from these conditions and share your experiences.
My son is 5 and both his preschool and kindergarten teachers have said he has characteristics of ADHD. He is unruly at home and has to make noise constantly, especially if I or his dad are watching something we want. If he watches "his" show he's quiet, if I read a story, he's quiet... but if I watch a movie, or drive up to a bank teller he cannot shut up... bleeps, bloops, fart sounds.
I don't know where to begin with him. He is my oldest, and his dad and I are divorcing, and we're both prone to snap under the circumstances and yell at him or occassionally swear. I am not proud of this, mind you. I feel I am failing as a parent, but am under such enormous stress without a single dollar to my name, in school for RN, and his dad wrecking havoc on my mental state.... I just don't know what to do. He's a smart, funny, HYPER kid that has no interest in doing anything anybody asks him to do. He loves video games, and is more combative about eating the food I've prepared over something sugary that he sneeks off. I realize it's critical to address these things now at his age before it's competely ingrained in his character.
I read in another post that arguing sets them off, and as our house has been a battle zone with extremely ugly fights as of late I know that's something else to consider. He torments his brother, who's 2, and has to be told over and over to do simple things like "put your pants on." I know I'm dealing with it all wrong and any advice would be appreciated.
I don't know where to begin with him. He is my oldest, and his dad and I are divorcing, and we're both prone to snap under the circumstances and yell at him or occassionally swear. I am not proud of this, mind you. I feel I am failing as a parent, but am under such enormous stress without a single dollar to my name, in school for RN, and his dad wrecking havoc on my mental state.... I just don't know what to do. He's a smart, funny, HYPER kid that has no interest in doing anything anybody asks him to do. He loves video games, and is more combative about eating the food I've prepared over something sugary that he sneeks off. I realize it's critical to address these things now at his age before it's competely ingrained in his character.
I read in another post that arguing sets them off, and as our house has been a battle zone with extremely ugly fights as of late I know that's something else to consider. He torments his brother, who's 2, and has to be told over and over to do simple things like "put your pants on." I know I'm dealing with it all wrong and any advice would be appreciated.
What the doctors did for us was to instruct us to put posters all around the house surrounding his bedroom. They were simply posters with his activities he needed to do from the time he woke in the morning to the time he was dressed and out the door for school. We listed things like, wake up, 7:00. get out of bed, 7:05, brush teeth, 7:10, wash face 7:15, get dressed, eat breakfast, pack snacks in lunch, etc. Every thing he was suppose to do was listed. The posters were placed on walls around the house in the areas that he needed them. The point of this all is STRUCTURE. An ADHD kid needs structure, and needs to know what is expected of them every minute. You can not tell them to wake up, wash their face, brush their teeth, all at once and have them do it. They need step by step structure, so that one day it will become habit. The work dealing with ADHD became more of a challenge as they grew older, with homework and all. I know you probably cannot afford a doctor, but for the benefit of you and your sanity, you should try to find some kind of help from a resource for low-income families. I don't know how to help you there, but we saw a physciatrist EVERY MONTH FOR THE YEARS OF HIS LIFE FROM 5 TO 18! It was torture for us as parents, and it took every bit of patience we had to cope with him. He was very bright, as all ADHD kids are, and this sometimes makes it harder to deal with them, I don't know if I could write you a book on what we did each stage of our son's life to help him, and help us deal with him, but I won't. I suggest you spend your free time, if any, reading some books on childhood ADHD. There are alot of them out there. In fact, as I read the books my physciatrist suggested, I kept saying, gee, this is me. ADHD is highly heridetary!
Seek some kind of professional help. Especially because you are going to be a single parent, raising an ADHD child is most difficult. I wish you lots of luck, and patience.
The only other advice i can give is to never let it be an excuse for him! My parents were very wise about that! When I had trouble in school they never blamed my add. They would say "i'm sorry your struggling, but because you have add you have to work harder than the average person. No excuses" Because I have NEVER used it as an excuse, it has not crippled me at all. I learned very young how to cope with it, and I live a very normal life. I am very grateful to my parents for that. Good luck to you... hang in there. He doesn't mean to hurt you, he's just in la-la land :)
I guess the point is, it is good to see we are not alone in the problems we are having with our 5 year old.