Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

The pressures of sex from peers, the media and culture can be overwhelming, but you are in total control of your body and celibacy is a choice that many are making. Find sanctuary with people who are choosing to abstain without fear of judgment.

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Women's Health
/ Abstinence & Celibacy Support Group

New to the celibate world

Monay_Rich
Monay_Rich

hello I decided to be celibate a few months ago due to heartbreak. Any tips you guys can give me? 

tonisora
tonisora
Stay away from situations that you maybe used to put yourself in. I got celibate when I got sober, so that made it a little easier, I think. I already wasn't going to bars or looking to get drunk and hook up. I also stopped going on chat apps I had been using, no dating apps, none of that stuff. No porn was a really big one for me too.

I also let people know I was celibate, one, to fend of guys, and two, because talking about it with different people let me learn more about myself and my celibacy.

Celibacy has been an integral part of my healing and journey.

PM if you ever want to talk more about things.

Best to you, love.
arfie
arfie
That's a very general question.

What are you having problems with?
Monay_Rich
Monay_Rich
Thanks so much for your feedback!! I just want to remain celibate. I don’t want to put myself into tempting situations. So should I tell the person I’m dating that I’m celibating? Wouldn’t that scare him away?
Jacaroo
Jacaroo
I agree with the direction @tonisura is going....... I would think of it like a diet and remove temptation completely. Although, I don't really like the diet mentality either as I feel like it reminds me or tells me I CAN'T have something. I would rather focus more on a lifestyle mentality. Like why do I want to make these changes in my life? I would use words like "It's my choice" and "I'm choosing X for these reasons". So, for this particular area--- maybe consider putting up some inspirational quotes about self, healing, other interests. Stay away from relationship apps and websites. Porn is terrible for relationships or singleness IMO as I feel it's addictive and destructive either way. But definitely I can see in your situation where you would want to give that up. I don't know if you have to walk around saying your celibate, but you could describe yourself as focusing on friendships instead. You don't want to issue a "challenge" to someone who may just be toying with you. I would do all that I could to strengthen my inner self and focus on hobbies, friendships, and FUN activities that keep you busy!
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