Hello Aly. Welcome to DS.

Most relationships are not worth holding on to. Sounds like this one is one of that majority. Is it any consolation that you found out before you compromised your morals for him?

Gentle support while you find THE ONE which is right for you. Welcome aboard.

Hang in there Does he understand why you asked him of this Some men just domt get it or dont want to get it. My husband is addicted to drinking not necessarily around me but he works out of state a lot thats when it happens We have been married 3 years and the drinking got worse when dies come home all he does is sleep no love shown really. But when he is out of tiwn he goes places foesvthings and drinks
I am at my wit ends ugh...

Very similar in a way. Its like he doesnt hve control of himself. He knows wy, we discussed it and he said that he always wanted to wait and do it right himself. So i thought it was mutual. But now he is frustrated and says i make him feel bad and that he shouldnt feel bad for wanting it that he physically needs it and its a guy thing that i dont understand.
Id definitly ask him to try AA.if he doesnt want to try,then i guess he has to learn the hard way. Im sorry that it has to affect you

men are horny beings, in there twenties they kind of expect it, i see your point about feeling used, girl , you dont need to put out if you dont feel the magic. if hes not the guy tell him to take a hike, you dont need that kind of hassle, but on the other hand if you have trouble with sex and you feel it might be the right thing to do but can't maybe you should have a talk with your doctor and get to the root cause.

I'm sorry that your boyfriend does not hold the same values that you do. It must be disappointing for you. If he is not the right person for you, keep looking for someone who will honor your wishes.

Your Right In feeling like he should respect how you feel, and he’s also right about how he feels. You just need to decide if you and him are a good fit for each other and that should never be based on YOU giving up something that you strongly believe in

You are a whole person with or without a man. I would suggest you focus on yourself and discover some things that you like to do. Remember sexual satisfaction is temporary. You can satisfy yourself and hug a pillow. Good luck to you.

Blessings Angel, First if your decision is based from a place of living healthy or wanting to experience this loving act in marriage or just taking a hiatus you have a right to do that, I'd hope you didn't spring this on a guy after you've been dating for months, not that you still don't have to right to choose what is best for you but you should always be upfront in the beginning, Your boyfriend and you aren't bad people just different people, have the real discussion about Why this is important to you at this time, but are you clear about your choice? I think a deep discussion is warranted so that all parties are aware of the intention and the responsibility of sustaining. When one feels it's difficult on that moment talk about how you feel not necessarily about changing your mind, television, movies and music makes it very difficult not to think about sex and for men just getting up in the morning can display a sign of what you aren't getting, He hasn't betrayed you the both of you just weren't clear in your expectations, You can say " Bae let's try sustaining from sex " but without a plan for what to do when one of you have urges it simply won't work.