Before I began the steps with my current sponsor, the condition I was asked to agree to was to freely give what was about to be given to me.

Today, I try to do that. I try to help the newcomer. I try to use my experience, strength and hope. I don't always get that right. I have to remember I am progress not perfection.

I have found this site very frustrating lately and you are right, that IS down to the people here.

One thing AA meetings are great for is once you have had your share, that is it. So then if someone has something to comment, they do it after the meeting (the equivalent of a private messege here). Guess that is why we have meetings the way we do.....to stop bickering (thank HP).

I am sorry to say that certain people (just a few of them) are purposefully causing disruption to a site that has always been peaceful and helpful up to recent times.

I have just banned one of them. This is not an AA meeting and this medium can exacerbate disagreements. Therefore, if people continue to disrupt I feel it is now necessary to ban them from this group for the sake of others, especially newcomers.

So true Gr8ful I'm 23 yrs. sobarr!!!! today in spite of myself , I wish all of this was beyond my understanding but it is not. I belong to Group of a one hundred or more meeting all over the US (BBSS) google it up, and this is kinda how it can go. Sad isn't it
Billy C.

I am a member who reads the discussions and would sometimes like to reply but don't cos of the nasty people who come on here and mock others and then hide behind sharing "experience." I hope they stop it.

I joined this group also because I was tired of the "slanging" as you so well put it. I also thought there would be a great deal less of that here. As a witness of that here i tend not to say very much at all now. Until now.

Frankly i see my old self in those type folks. I remember how miserable i was when i did that same thing when i was new to AA. For me, to see them now still doing that after how many years in AA ( they are fast to tell me about all the years they have) I thank goodness my sponsor nailed me on my arrogance and unacceptable behavior. For that is NOT what this program teaches ME to do.

I know for me, when i start spouting off trying to prove myself better than anyone i had better check my pants to see if they still l fit me or not. Meaning if i get too "big for my britches" , somethings gonna "give".

As much as it annoys me to no end when those folks get on the soap box and talk down to me, i need to remember this. First i was like that when i knew no better. Second, my book here tells me directly on page 95 that i am not to........and it says "NEVER"; "Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop"

All this just goes to show me that i need not act like that anymore. I cringe to see it in others but i also know that for me........ they are great reminders of what NOT to do. That "slanging" as i see it actually kills the Spirit and i for one want no part of such a murderous act.

As for me in what i bring to this site? It's in my hope that i am bringing my experience and knowledge of what our book teaches me and of what i experienced as a result of having taken these 12 steps.

Thanks so much for your post here.

I come here to share my experience in recovery and to share the message that was freely given to me about a solution to alcoholism.

I agree with Kate in that I have found it really frustrating on here recently and have been drawn into feeling as if I need to defend myself which means I have undoubtedly played my part in the "slanging matches".

For this I apologise.

I am sorry that people feel that they cannot post on here for fear of being mocked and hope that will change going forward.

I readily admit that I'm one of the troublemakers. But I've been happily sober for over 20 years, and when someone with far less time tells me I've got this whole thing wrong, I can and will beg to differ. I've seen a lot of people go through the zealous convert stage, burn out and resume drinking, and I will continue to report what I see rather than sugar it over with slogans and declarations of purpose.

I wonder if the seeming problems some people are having with other's comments are not the result of our cultural differences.

We are all from different countries and we all have different ways of communicating and receiving messages. There is a lot of room for error in our perrceptions and accepted styles of giving and taking messages.

I think the communication on these boards is healthy and probably a good example of what goes on in most AA clubrooms.

I think that if there are questionable statments made by some, it would only be right to be tollerant and maybe even ask for clarification.

Also, there is always going to be some harsh words here and there. AA's can a lively bunch - that would not usually mix in the first place. We are sensitive true, but most of us have come from sordid places.

I have yet to go read the latest in Bigby's thread, so I do not at this moment know what might have followed my last post there. The one thing I can assure anyone, however, is that I hate to see people suffer in their own nonsense for the purpose of blocking still others from truth.

I totally agree with Nemo. In a nutshell, when someone with multiple years shares their experience and then someone who is 1 1/2-3 yrs comments on their post, or even 15 years or better yet, someone who claims to have +25 yrs says "how dare they call it AA", how else would one respond?

I am not an unreasonable person and I do regret letting certain few individuals affect me and I apologize. However, it takes 2 to have a conflict. It's real easy to sit back and watch someone else wear the lampshade(and I am sincerely sorry for the caustic post) but at the same time, I don't like the way it feels to be insulted, simply because they feel I'm, or anyone for that matter, not doing AA correctly. I leave God to be the judge of that, not a human being.

Add to this the proven studies on communication - words 7%, tone of voice 38% and body language 55% so we only get 7% of communication on here.

Then there are people that use 'lol' to hide their insultive comments.

Then there is the !!!! to get points across.

For me, as long as I post with the right intention then I know I have done the best of my ability ::)

Nemo, I thank you for your honesty in admitting that you are one of the troublemakers.

What we have here is discussion posts. Of course we are going to debate our differing opinions. However, it is my hope that we can all go forward from this - as we did quite happily before - by maintaining a respectful attitude to each other and to the group. We can differ and not fall out. We can avoid personal attack and sarcasm. When people are impolite to others it causes a reaction. None of us are spiritually perfect by any means. Most of us, me included, have been annoyed at personal slight or offensive comments about the group and reacted.

We should bear in mind that the newcomer, who is posting a topic and asks for help - as in Bigsby's post on Step 1 - should be treated in a helpful and polite manner. A newcomer's post, particularly, should not set the scene for offensive comments between older members. What is this saying to the newcomer?

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous carries precise instructions for the 12 Step programme, it is used in every meeting I know of. Please try to ensure that what is said or advised on this group can be reconciled with the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. It is our basic text and that basic text has never been revised for one reason - it works!

>> The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous carries precise instructions ...

Ah ah, now ...

"Further on, clear-cut *directions* are given ..." (page 29, emphasis added)

!!!!

Once agin Nemo you are right on. Basdist you are also onto something with the cultural differences thing.
I also have learned through this site that AA is the same everywhere but also quite different. I believe that theses 3 things are generally the cause of most of the disputes in this group.
Let's face it getting 2 alcoholics to agree is a rarity. Having several agree is a miracle. That is why in my mind the big book is divinely inspired.

The first time I posted on this group I was terrified of saying the "wrong" thing and being crucified. Nickyj sent me a hug and said she was glad to see me post here and I told her that I felt like a foreign exchange student on the first day of school. It is very intimidating at times for me but mainly because most of you guys over here have years and years and I'm only a few months in. I do hope the drama subsides...cause I need y'all! Thanks for bein here. :)