Question: Two sisters, named Tessa and Tera, were twins, but only for half an hour. Can you guess why?
Answer: Thirty minutes after their birth, their brother Jessy was born, making them triplets!

Question: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
Answer: A postage stamp!

Question: What travels around the world but stays in one corner?
Answer: A postage stamp!

Question: What is the difference between here and there?
Answer: The letter "t!"

Question: Is there a word in the English language that contains all of the vowels in the alphabet?
Answer: Unquestionably! (Notice that the answer contains "y," the letter that is both vowel and consonant.)

Question: On the way to the water hole, a zebra met six elephants. Each elephant had three monkeys on its head, and each monkey had two birds on its tail. How many animals were going to the water hole?
Answer: Only one, the zebra; all the rest were going away from the water hole!

Question: What kind of country would this be if everyone drove a pink car?
Answer: A pink carnation! (flower, car nation)

OMG!!! I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING......

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Question: What does a musician use to clean his teeth?
Answer: A toothbrush and a tuba toothpaste!

Question: What is six feet long, green, and has two tongues?
Answer: The Jolly Green Giant's sneakers!

Question: What can you sit on, sleep on, and brush your teeth with?
Answer: A chair, a bed, and a toothbrush.

Question: Why did Timothy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
Answer: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

Question: What kind of ant has a tail?
Answer: An elephant!

Question: Why did Timothy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
Answer: He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!

Question: What kind of ant has a tail?
Answer: An eleph-ant!

Question: What's the first thing you know? Answer: "The first thing you know, Old Jed's a millionaire, the kin folks said, "Jed, move away from there!"" :)

Question: If a snake married an undertaker, what would their towels say?
Answer: Hiss and Hearst!