...and then there was the race horse owner who named his horse Bad News...because Bad News travels fast...

Joe Palmer, the late racing expert, told about a man from Idaho who breezed into Kentucky with a six-year-old horse that had never raced before, but which he entered for a race. The horse won easily and paid a whopping price.
The racing stewards did not like the look of the thing and questioned the owner. "Is this horse unsound?" they asked.
"Not a bit," said the owner.
"In that case," asked the stewards, "why have you never raced him before?"
"Mister," said the man from Idaho, "we couldn't even catch the critter until he was five years old."

One day at the track, I got a tip from my backside friends. A horse named "The Power of Prayer" was running in the sixth race. I placed my bets and found my seat. I should have known better: when the starting gate opened, he broke on his knees.

A young boy told his mother that his father had taken him to the zoo. The mother couldn't believe it. She said, "Your father has never taken anyone to the zoo in his whole life." The boy said, "He did, and one of the animals paid fifty dollars!"

Did you hear about the guy who went to the races and while there he observed a Roman Catholic priest who went over to a horse and sprinkled it with holy water. The horse went on to win the race, streaking ahead of the opposition. Before the next race he saw the priest go over to another horse and sprinkle it with holy water. Like the first horse it went on to win it's race. The guy said to himself that if the priest sprinkles another horse with holy water I am going to bet every penny I have on that horse. Sure enough, the priest went over to another horse and sprinkled it with holy water. So the guy went to a bookie and bet every penny he had on this horse.

Then the race started and the horse that the priest sprinkled with holy water dropped dead about 100 yards after the start of the race. The guy was devastated. So he went over to the priest and said, "What's going on here? The last two horses you sprinkled with holy water went on to win their races, and this last one you sprinkled dropped dead after only 100 yards. I had put every penny I had on it's nose!"

The priest replied, "You're not Roman Catholic, are you?"
The guy admitted that he was not and asked, "But, how do you know that?"
The priest said, "Because you don't know the difference between giving a blessing and administering the last rights."

I don't mind when my horse is left at the post.
I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks "Which way do I go?"
But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...

Henny Youngman

Wow, JourneymanProject1 and BahamaSun, your humor is super funny! :-)

I try, Beaumont. Now if only I can laugh at my own jokes...

Jeffrey Bernard once came up with this gem that I'm sure a lot of us can relate to somehow:

"One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on him."

source: http://www.mikesfreegifs.com/main4/celebrityquotes.html

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL "i have to get up at 3 in the morning" LOL LOL LOL LOL Too funny.

" I bet on a great horse at ten to one. It didn't come in until half past five. " - Henny Youngman

:-)

The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race.

He turned on the jockey.

"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"

"Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."

Here's a variation on the Henny Youngman one-liner about slow horses provided by a member of UKjockey.com:

George said to Fred, 'I put $20 on a horse last week and he came in at twenty five to one.', 'Wow! you must be loaded', said Fred. 'Not really' said George, 'the rest of the field came in at twelve thirty.'

source: http://www.ukjockey.com/jokes.html

The tipster said this horse would walk in. It did, but all the others galloped.

source: http://www.horseracing.net/horseracingjokes.htm

:-)