"He knows nothing; and he thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career."

-George Bernard Shaw: "Major Barbara" (1907), act 3

"The other political party has been robbing you for years. Now give us a chance!"

-Unidentified Politician

Law Enforcement Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5235262

"If voting changed anything, they'd abolish it."

-Ken Livingstone

One-Liner And Quotation Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6795267

Lame Duck: A politician whose goose has been cooked.

Duck Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4696925

'Goose Humor' is being researched...

How can you tell when politicians are lying?
Their lips will be moving and words will be coming out of their mouths.

What do diplomats say on Halloween?
"Trick or treaty!"

Halloween Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/2911415

"I guess I should warn you, if I turn out to be particularly clear, you've probably misunderstood what I've said."

-Alan Greenspan

Harrison was taking his young son on a tour of the nation's capital. In the gallery of the House of Representatives, the boy looked at a man standing in front of a lectern. "Dad," the boy asked, "who's that man?" "He's the chaplain of the House," Harrison answered. "Does he pray for the people who work here?" Harrison thought for a few seconds. Then he said, "My guess is that after looking around at the people who work here, he prays for the country."

Christian Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4171195

Disclaimer: A Laughter Club does not endorse or condemn any political party, platform, affiliation, or candidate for office. All statements contained herein are for humorous purposes only.

Politics defined: "Poli" is a prefix that means "many," and tics are tiny blood-sucky insects. So, politics is "many tiny blood-sucking insects."

Bug Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5079017

Conservative: A Liberal who has been mugged.

Definition Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/5001707

What do diplomats say on Halloween?
"Trick or treaty!"

Halloween Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4903645

Question: Why was the Libertarian thrown out of the Boy Scouts?
Answer: He tried to start a fire by causing friction between a Republican and a Democrat.

Scouting And Youth Organizations Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/11601076

One-liner: Friends don't let friends vote for____________________________.
(Fill in the blank with whatever raises their hackles, such as "Republicans," "Democrats," "Socialist Workers," etc. Take-off on the line "Friends don't let friends drink and drive.")

The trouble with political jokes is that very often they get elected.