71% of office workers stopped on the street for a recent survey agreed to give up their computer passwords in exchange for a chocolate bar.
Chocolate Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6795500

How can you tell when your cat has been on the internet?
Your mouse will have teeth marks in it.

Cat Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4213750

What's the fastest way to crash a computer?
Let an adult use it.

Childhood And Parenting Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/13709387

"Computers are worthless. They can only give you answers."

-Pablo Picasso: "Secrets of Design"

Art Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7066588

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated.

Star Trek Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7298257

A Windows user spends 1/3 of his life sleeping, 1/3 working, and 1/3 waiting.

Life And Living Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12530954

ASCII silly question, Get a silly ANSI!

Pun Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/13691568

Microsoft once threatened a then-seventeen-year-old Mike Rowe with a lawsuit after the young man launched a website named MikeRoweSoft.com.

Name Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12629541

"640k ought to be enough for anybody."

-Bill Gates, in 1981

Miscellaneous Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8390874

Spelling Cheque Ere

Eye halve a spelling cheque ere
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My cheque ere tolled me sew.

-Author Unknown

Poetry Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7399072

Computer Humor: Have you heard about the new Cray? It's so fast, it executes an infinite loop in 6 seconds.

Time Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6440761

Fun Fact: Artificial Intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

One-Liner And Quotation Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6795267

JAVA Song (As sung to "Rawhide")
Loading, loading, loading,
Dang this Java coding,
Feeling of foreboding, Reload!
The Applet says it's running,
And that big grey block is stunning,
But the screen remains as blank as my mind
Netscape crash, Boot 'em up!
Net goes down, Dial back! Logging on,
Still off-line! Reload!
Try it now, Still not up!
Netscape crashed, What, again?
Boot it up, Log it in, Reload!
Tighten, tweakin', smoothen,
They say the codes improvin',
So how come I'm still usin' "reload"?
I'm tired of all this waitin',
Just give me .gif animation,
This code is only good for wasting time,
The applet says it's running,
And grey block is quite stunning,
But the screen remains as blank as my mind,
(Midi solo)
beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep,beep,
Netscape crash, Boot 'em up!
Net goes down, Dial back!
Logging on, Still off-line!
Reload!
Try it now, Still not up!
Netscape crashed, What, again?
Boot it up, Log it in,
Reload!

-Author Unknown

Lyrics
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7515360

"Where the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vacuum tubes and weigh only 1 and 1/2 tons."

-Author Unknown: “Popular Mechanics” (March 1949)

History Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/8034117

Life

Don't you wish when life is bad
and things just don't compute
that all we really had to do
was stop and hit reboot?
Things would all turn out ok
life could be so sweet
if we had those special keys
ctrl and alt delete
Your boss is mad, your bills not paid,
your wife, well she's just mute.
Just stop and hit those wonderful keys
that make it all reboot.
You'd like to have another job
you fear living in the street?
You solve it all and start anew
ctrl and alt delete.

-Author Unknown

Life And Living Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12530954