"Sometimes I lie awake at night and think about that little red-haired girl... I don't ever want to forget her face, but if I don't forget her face, I'll go crazy... How can I remember the face I can't forget? Suddenly I'm writing country western music!"

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1969-1970)

Love Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7787597

“Those dreams I have at night are going to drive me crazy. Last night I dreamed that little red-haired girl and I were eating lunch together... But she's gone... She's moved away, and I don't know where she lives, and she doesn't know I even exist, and I'll never see her again... And... I wish men cried..."

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1969-1970)

‘Men Humor’ on the way!

"Sometimes, when you're really depressed, all you want to do is nothing. All you want to do is lean your head on your arm, and stare into space. Sometimes this can go on for hours. If you're unusually depressed, you may have to change arms."

-Charles M. Schulz

Anatomy Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6543159

"Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone.
"I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!"
She hit him with a waffle iron."

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts: 1973-1974)

"Look out!! Ha! Now you've done it! Now you've broken a lamp, and you've got no one to blame it on but yourself!"
"Maybe I could blame it on society!"

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1959-1960)

"You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..."
"How about 'Dear Fatty'?"

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1959-1960)

Diet And Exercise Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6729090

"In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back"

-Charles M. Schulz

Book Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6682893

"Don't sit there watching TV without your glasses! Do you want to ruin your eyes?!"
"My opthalmologist says that not wearing glasses cannot hurt the eyes even if those glasses are badly needed for adequate vision."
"What does your opthalmologist think of the foreign situation?"

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1961-1962)

"Schroeder, do you think love is the answer to everything?"
"Boy, I hope not!"

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1975-1976)

"I have a question. What if your advice doesn't help me? Do I get my money back?"
"No, because as soon as you pay me, I run right out and spend it. That's one of the first things they teach you in medical school!"

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1971-1972)

Money Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6778856

“Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.”

-Charles M. Schulz

Housekeeping Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/7718642

"Do you have your own room, Charlie Brown?"
"Oh, yes... I have a very nice room."
"I hope you realize that you won't always have your own room... Someday you'll get drafted or something, and you'll have to leave your room forever!"
"Why do you tell me things like that?"
"It's on a list I've made up for you... I call it, Things You Might As Well Know!"

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1969-1970)

“Life is like a game, Charlie Brown... Sometimes you win... Sometimes you lose."
"I'll be happy if I just make the playoffs."

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1971-1972)

Athletics And Sports Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4847862

"Ten milligrams equals one centigram. Ten decigrams equals one gram. Ten grams equals one grampa."
"Keep going... I can hardly wait to see what comes next..."

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1971-1972)

"If it's just a matter of looking, I've looked! I've looked for happiness at home. I've looked all over this neighborhood for happiness... Someday, I'll look all over this country for happiness... And, someday, I'll look all around the world for happiness, but I'll probably never find it... Then, after I've looked all over the world, I'll return home."
"And when you return home, you'll find the very happiness that was there all along! Is that what you're trying to say?"
"No, but maybe I'll find that stupid little pink bracelet I lost yesterday!"

-Charles M. Schulz (The Complete Peanuts 1975-1976)

Clothing And Accessories
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6455980