What happened when the cat slept under the car?
She woke up oily the next morning.

'Mechanic Humor' is coming soon.

What happened when the cat swallowed a ball of yarn?
She had kittens with mittens!

Clothing And Accessories Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/6455980

The Theory of Cat Behavior

Law of Cat Inertia - A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food.

Law of Cat Motion - A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

First Law of Cat Energy Conservation - Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy - All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nonosecond.

Law of Furniture Replacement - A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Composition - A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

Law of Cat Obedience - As yet undiscovered.

I don't have a cat joke, but, my mama's 21lb. cat used to chew the ends of my cigerettes. She would stick her head in my bag, and smoke her one. Then when I would light up, I would get a mouthful of cat spit. Funny to some, me not so much.

those are cute

What's a cat's favorite kind of computer?
A laptop.

What's a cat's favorite kind of computer?
A laptop.

Computer Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12518049

If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
Their paws.

What kind of cat will keep your grass short?
A Lawn Meower.

Twelve Life Lessons I Learned From My Cat

1. Pounce on opportunity. He who hesitates, misses catching the passing lizard.

2. Patience. Infinite patience...

3. Concentration. A cat studying an opportunity just beyond his grasp is the epitome of focused attention. He doesn't even blink as he tunes out all distractions. His body is completely still except for his wildly twitching tail releasing his nervous energy.

4. Nothing is worth disturbing your beauty sleep.

5. Catnap. Even a few moments of shut-eye is refreshing.

6. If you're happy, purr. Show your appreciation by letting people know that you like what they do.

7. Do cat stretches - and other yoga poses, and try Qigong. Especially as we age, gentle stretching is one of the best things we can do for our bodies.

8. Wrestle with your best friend. She likes it when you're playful.

9. Eat when you're hungry and not by the clock.

10. Ask for what you want. If you are lovable and patient, you will probably get it.

11. You can't have everything you want. If you put your claws where they don't belong, you're going to get rough treatment.

12. Revel in life's simple pleasures. A ball of string is magic.

-Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What is a cat's favorite color?
Purr-ple.

Color Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4213750

A Cat's Dictionary
Purring: Sound of a cat manufacturing cuteness.
Purranoia: The fear that your cat is up to something.
Human being: Automatic door opener for cats.
Purrpetual motion: A kitty playing.

Daffynitions And Definitions Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/12824207

Fun Fact: Cats make great pets. Out of their owners.
Pet Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions.messages/14043639

Fun Fact: Cats make great pets. Out of their owners.

Pet Humor
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions.messages/14043639

What do you call a cat that has eaten an elephant?
Full.

Have you read our 'Elephant Humor'? It's absolutely huge! Click here:
www.dailystrength.org/groups/laughterclub/discussions/messages/4979106