Sanman

I just dont get a sense of ever getting better.I feel hopeless. I had to just put this on paper. Not much else to write.

Okay second workout done for this week.

Workout done today!

Im old today.

the darkness comes

Well it looks like its going to be a rough next two months. I was told yesterday that my new insurance will not take effect until Jan 08. I am going to have to stop taking my meds. I hope i dont fall...

Well I am still here. I have the shakes for some reason, my hands just shake. I wonder if its part of the new dosages.

Well, I have had a few okay days. I still just sit in my house or my prison doing nothing.  I get anxiety when I go out.  I cannot live like this forever. I want my meds to work. I am just rambling...

Well, the doctor as of today moved depakote to 2000mlg. I hope this will bring me back. I am sick of being miserable. I will continue to follow the doctors orders.  I feel hopless.

Well I am still here. Waiting for increase in medication to work. I lost my job. Life is more important than a job right now. I just want to be in a good state mentally. I feel so weak as a person. I...

Well woke up at 1 pm again. I feel so useless. I had a crying spell, imagine a grown man crying over nothing. I feel like i am losing myself. I used to be so strong, but now i feel like a shell of...

I am still here for now. I have days where I can only sleep. I have a visit with my doctor on Monday the sixth. He is going to change my meds. Its the only hope i have left. If it does not work I...

Life is crap