Zombie

I just feel numb and walking around like a zombie.  I don't know why.  All this happened years ago.  It's just making sense of it all,or not even that.  Just recognising what it is. 
I don't know what's going on inside me.  It feels like I'm sleepwalking, that I'm wrapped in bubble wrap and everything is kinda surreal. I feel depressed and miserable, and I don't know what's going on or why I feel like this NOW. I don't at all feel like a 'survivor', I feel nothing like that.  I don't feel jubilant or like I achieved anything.  I can't make sense of the way I feel. 
Can anyone (whoread my previous JE) help me make sense of what is happening and why am I feeling like this?? Ifyou have been here, maybe you can help me??
Thanks,
Amazon07