Zombie
I just feel numb and walking around like a zombie. I don't know why. All this happened years ago. It's just making sense of it all,or not even that. Just recognising what it is.
I don't know what's going on inside me. It feels like I'm sleepwalking, that I'm wrapped in bubble wrap and everything is kinda surreal. I feel depressed and miserable, and I don't know what's going on or why I feel like this NOW. I don't at all feel like a 'survivor', I feel nothing like that. I don't feel jubilant or like I achieved anything. I can't make sense of the way I feel.
Can anyone (whoread my previous JE) help me make sense of what is happening and why am I feeling like this?? Ifyou have been here, maybe you can help me??
Thanks,
Amazon07
I don't know what's going on inside me. It feels like I'm sleepwalking, that I'm wrapped in bubble wrap and everything is kinda surreal. I feel depressed and miserable, and I don't know what's going on or why I feel like this NOW. I don't at all feel like a 'survivor', I feel nothing like that. I don't feel jubilant or like I achieved anything. I can't make sense of the way I feel.
Can anyone (whoread my previous JE) help me make sense of what is happening and why am I feeling like this?? Ifyou have been here, maybe you can help me??
Thanks,
Amazon07
Replies
From what I have gone through, it sounds like you are dissociating. Once I started coming to terms with my sexual abuse, I started having those feelings. I would feel like i was spacing out or the world wasn\'t real and I had to lie down. What you are feeling is a normal reaction.
If you dont feel like a survivor, it may mean you have some more work to do on what happened? I ordered a great book for myself recently that has glowing reviews called \'resurrection after rape: from victim to survivor\'. This may be what you need to start feeling more like a surivior. It sounds like you have already dealt with a lot of what happened but there may be some loose ends. Maybe the book could help you?
Big hugs
Thank you so much Goingup to help me make sense of this! I\'m so confused; despite all the problems with BPDX just a week or two ago I still felt attractive and generally good about myself. Now I feel fat, disgusting, old and haggard-looking. I\'m walking around like a ghost and feel generally unwell and spaced out. Yes, I think I need to come to terms with what happened!
Thank you very much for your encouragement, advise and for recommending that book, I will get it!
Thanks hon!
A xx