Worse today
Oh god, how I miss Gene. Somedays I still can't believe he's gone. It's so hard coming home to this empty house. Coming up on the two year anniversary and I'm falling apart. Remembering the phone call and the ride to the hospital. The smell of the flowers and the warmth of the sun. How long can I go on like this? I could barely make it to work today and ended up going in late. Crying, crying, no where to turn only heartache and pain inside me now. I'm so lonely without him. I can't go on like this for much longer. Thought I'd get stronger but only feel weaker and weaker. Grieving is exhausting and I don't want to get out of bed.
Replies
I am closing in on the 2 year mark as well and it just doesn\'t seem to get any easier. Life is hard, but so much harder when you have to face it alone. Sorry for how you are feeling because I am there sister! Nothing can fix us because no matter what, they are not coming back.
((((HUGS))))
Karl
Thanks for reminding me I\'m not alone. It helps to know that others are going through the same things that I am.
I am coming close to hitting the 2 year mark and it is starting to take its toll on me. It seem to me like I am reliving it all over again. I think I am going crazy because I think that it is all a dream and he is coming home. Today my daughter told me that she feels his presence around us. I miss him and nothing can take away this pain. I close my eyes and keep imagining that he is sitting beside me and when I open my eyes and realize that he is not there I want to scream. I don\'t have the energy to do anything anymore. I understand your feeling. Hugs Linda
Unfortunately the 2 year mark is just as hard if not more than the one year anniversary. I don\'t know how to put it into words but I do remember it being much more difficult to get through. Maybe it was because the first year there were so many \'firsts\' to get through and by the second year the finality of it all was settling in and emotionally I still wasn\'t ready to accept it. It was right around that time that I realized if there was ever going to be any hope of me having any kind of normal existance without my husband no longer being here to share it with me then it was time for me to make the changes to finally accept that nothing was going to change for me unless I changed myself, including my thinking, my outlook and most of all accepting what I couldn\'t change. That was me though and everyone is different as far as how their grief plays out for them. My heart breaks for everyone who has to deal with this kind of horrible pain. I pray for the peace and hope that you will need to get you through the days and weeks ahead. Love and hugs, Judi
Thanks to both of you for your kind comments. I\'m a total wreck right now and am dreading the days ahead, especially Sunday. I\'m crying at work and at home and don\'t want to get out of bed. I\'ll make it through only by the grace of knowing that there are people like you out there that truly care.