workday

feeling so much better.  life is so funny.  all of these emotions, predicaments and thoughts.  i have a renewed resolve to get my shit done and resist procrastination.  i just need to be clear about what i want everyday.  i am starting to worry about money too.  i need to make money, right now i am perpetually broke, even though i live in thailand.  i still have to pay a lot of money for my visa coming up.  i don't make that much money.  so this is extra impetus to get my business going.  i need to get into a regime.  a serious working regime.  the morning is the most ripe time to get stuff done.  i think that when i wake up i will give myself an hour or an hour and half to do my thing--brew coffee, clean up the house, check social media, etc., but I need to get into a concrete routine of work.  I am going to start off slow so I don't disappoint myself.  1 hour of writing, 1 hour of sewing.  That is what I plan today.  After I am done around noon I am going to go to the fabric market here and pick up some stuff I need and also go to the language school and see about taking Thai classes.  Also, of course exercise at some point.  Since I don't teach today I would also like to go to a co-working space later to work on writing.  in th evening i am going to get a little penguin tattooed on my foot and also a piercing in my ear.   i still feel a weird, kinda uneasy feeling in general right now but i'm not going to pay attention to it.  life is a funny weird experience anyway and sometimes i am just hyper aware of that fact and it makes me a little antsy haha, if thats the word for it.  

So, today.....

grateful: grateful I still have a job, have my visa, have my house, my cat and am sober.  grateful i have this business idea.  grateful i have some friends who are on a creative path and offer support from time to time. 

desire: i desire to work.  to really work.  i have worked so many jobs, from nanny-ing to restaurants to at a non-profit.  i show up and work.  especially when i worked in kitchens (5 different kitchens in total)--that shit is brutual!  but i have an indefatigable work ethic when i am there....and those shifts were 7 to 12 hours, 5 to 6 days a week.  i need to show up to work for myself.  i can do it.  i'm going to do it.  i desire to start doing it earnest today.

brags: in the psat 9 months i've probably lost about 10 or 15 pounds.  my skin looks great too.  i have been doing yoga regulary and hiking. it feels good!!  also, proud of myself that i set up a hoop lesson in a week or two.  also, i get to go to bangkok for three full days and i'm stoked!  so excited and a few plans in place to check out for my upcoming blog.

ok, onward to this work i keep waxing poetic about. 

p.s.-magpie--the pad thai varies here.....some of it is amazing, some of it not so good.  any pad thai i go in the states was super sweet and i never erally understood the dish or liked it. actually the history of pad thai is really interesting: https://priceonomics.com/the-invention-of-pad-thai/.  don't know if you have time to read it, but basically it was a dish created by the government to unite the country in a certain way, keep a sense of identity.  omg talking about pad thai i want some right now.  i order it without shrimp.  but it's just such an amazing and unusual taste--with the subtle sweetness of the tamarind, the heartiness of the egg, then the spritz of lime, plus peants, and then fresh, crisp mung bean sprouts and these other green-onion esque veggies they give you throw in......ohhhhhhh mannnnnn and then i shower it with all the different varities of pickled chilis that are available.....GOD i love thai food.  dang.  and its like a buck a plate.  there's another dish, koi soi which is equally divine....it's like a really delicious curry sauce (but not curry--it's somethign else that is unique to this dish), and then it has like linguine egg noodles, and then either meat or tofu or veggies in it and then on the top crispy fried noodles.  it comes with pickled greens, shallots, and lime for you so add in.  It's unbelievably divine.  YUM