withdraw and horrible anxiety

so i'm pulling myself out of this.  i was doing really well not drinking, and also before this binge I only drank twice in 5 months, and one of those times I actually drank in moderation and the other time it was just a night and  day and then I shook myself out of it.  This time, it lasted about four days.   I had almost shook myself out of it after a night and a day....i had gone on a walk by the lake and rested and even did my online teaching, i had stopped drinking by noontime.  then my neighbor, this really awesome older british gentlemen that i like a lot and have been wanting to get to know more invited me and my boyfriend over and offered us wine and beer.  i was still feeling the effects of my hangover, and still kind of had that "fuck it" feeling that comes with my alcohol consumption.  so i drank a whole big bottle of wine and then my boyfriend suggested we get more beer.  he was driving.  he never gets to too drunk.  the stores were closed to buy beer so we ended up going to two different bars.  i blacked out.  and then the next day i drank.  today i stopped, but laid in bed all day feeling weak and overcome with terrible anxiety.  i have to teach right now, i wanted to back out so bad, but I have been here many times, feeling the effects of a hangover and dreading my duties.   Luckily, I didn't break my computer or lose my phone or anything dumb like that.   i feel too weak to write anything in depth ror eloquent ight now, but it is helping to write just so I am clear with myself.  it's weird when i exit these binges, I feel so raw and open.  like a storm just ripped through my existence.  ok, getting ready to teach for a few hours now.