why does everything have to be so hard

How do I keep going? Everything is such a struggle and all I want to do is cry and curl up in a corner.  I have no one and I feel like I am going to throw up all day long.  There is no work focus..all I can do is sit here in a state of panic and wonder what the hell I am going to do.  Trying to find a used stackable washer/dryer.  I cannot afford to keep paying 3 dollars a load for coin op.  I am so filled with hate and anger with every struggle because it did not have to be this way and I know I am broken and am getting everything I deserve in this life but I am so tired.

Replies

Ghostdancer
Ghostdancer

Keep hanging in there and there are resources you might not be seeing. I'd give in but it's not my time yet and all I get is when do you see your therapist next like that's a magic fix either. They're the first ones to say there's no pill or switch to stop how you feel. There is something good waiting for you my friend. Namaste
bonusjack
bonusjack

Sorry that you are feeling down. When things seem impossible, take a deep breath and look around you. Literally. Notice that the world is the same as it ever was -- full of possibilities, good and bad. I often go to the zoo in the summer. When there is no zoo, or the weather is bad, a big pet store can provide a chance to watch and interact with some animals. If you could enjoy a pet, get one from a rescue society. Splurge on a potted plant, if animals aren't your thing. Visit a secondhand store. Do something nice for yourself, by yourself. It won't be long before the fog around you will lift, and you can bask in the sunshine of a day that belongs only to you. Cheers.
beachshore
beachshore

You are so valuable and I have appreciated you. With the anxiety, I know you just want to curl up in a ball and sleep to have some peace. I hope you can find the washer/dryer and just think how much money you will save in the long run. Looking for one can produce the anxiety or increase it. I know when I have things to do that pressure of performing is anxiety provoking. Hugs to you. Take pride in any little thing you accomplished even if it's getting dressed.