Well, this is new...

So, I've been in therapy. I've done nothing. I have tried any number of diets, exercise programs, and reward/punishment systems. I'm having acupuncture bi-montly with daily herbs. And I never was able to lable my struggles with food as an "addiction." It didn't even occur to me. Addiction is a word for dangerous substances and people's who's lives are ruined. Sure, I can't seem to stop eating. But it's food. Humans have to eat. My mom is the queen of willpower and is healthier in her 50's then she was in her 20's. Clearly my inability to stop snacking, eating junk, and general depresion must just be because I'm weak. I don't deserve help.  I don't deserve the language. But realizing that addiction is a word that can apply to me, that it's a biochemical fact and NOT MY FAULT, and that there are steps I can take, that I"m not alone. It is such a RELIEF! Plus, it puts so much in context. Why I never seem to have quite enough money. Why I'm eating after work despite not being hungry. I knew about the emotional eating, but not how it fit into a bigger picture. Now I can identify the voice in my head that is the addiction. It's CLEARLY a seperate voice. I still listen to it because she's a persistent shryke and it's quicker to shut her up by giving in but at least I know she's there. And now I know I'm not alone. I have no idea how to do this journaling thing, but let's give it a shot anyway.