We were raised to "be fine"

If you ask, we are always fine... always

No matter how sick we think we are, in how much pain we are, we are always fine. We tend to understate.

My boyfriend is a med student and is worried sick about me right now... Ive been defecating with blood for the past 4 days, I have lost another three pounds (Im underweight in general) this week. I feel cold, Ididnt sleep (had no pills nor money to resock)... I didnt tell my father that last part cuz I didnt wanna bother. I keep giving my bf excuses why Im really fine... "Nah, its just the lack of sleep", "Its normal", "Its not that much weight", "Its the pills" , "Dont worry, Im fine", but he knows Im not... this is just the way I was raised, Im sorry.

We learned not to complain... whenever we did we were either not taken seriously, convinced that it wasnt that important, or ridiculized cuz obvious ("of course it hurts! he was in a car crash!") or say "We have all gotten sick and we still worked and moved around, and she is just lying there complaining"

they just get annoyed if we say we are in pain. My father would complain when my brother groaned  when at the hospital after undergoing head surgery.

I told my father I have been pooping blood for the past 4 days, he said "lets wait till Sunday and see how it goes".

So yeah... Im fine... :/

Sorry bf, I must be so annoying right now